Forget not yet
by redvelvetcupcakes
Summary: Tony is injured, forgetting the last four years of his life and his relationship with Ziva David. Now the rest of the team has to help him find his way in the new world of NCIS. Based heavily on Hiatus. TIVA JIBBS MCABBY
1. Chapter 1

* * *

A/N- I own nothing to do with NCIS. Tell me what you think.

Summary- Tony is in an accident and loses the last four years of his life, and all memories of his relationship with Ziva, now the rest of the team have to help him find his way in the new world of NCIS.

TIVA, JIBBS, MCABBY

* * *

_Forget not yet- Sir Thomas Wyatt_

_FORGET not yet the tried intent  
Of such a truth as I have meant;  
My great travail so gladly spent,  
Forget not yet!  
_

* * *

"No!"

Gibbs had heard the horrible _'thump' _sound, followed by the tell-tale screech of the tires and the roar of a car engine.

Ziva's cry had followed mere seconds later and he had known.

Everything seemed to slow down then, as though in a dream. His legs felt weak as he staggered to the factory entrance, where McGee already stood, frantically shouting into his mobile phone.

Ziva David knelt a few feet away from the young agent, all business as she went over her basic medical training.

Anthony DiNozzo lay on the road, blood pouring from his head.

His senior field agent was unconscious and pale and not _moving_. Gibbs couldn't remember a dozen times together when he had seen Tony remain still for longer than five minutes, even when he had been hung-over he would still be pacing or fidgeting or doing…_something_.

The ambulance had taken hours to arrive, his watch had lied and told him it was less than five minutes, but he had known that it had been hours.

Because while they had waited, terrified to touch him, he had been forced to watched as Tony's blood pooled on the freezing cold cement, the steam rising into the air.

The medics had pushed him out of the way and he'd held Ziva tight against him as they had shouted to each other and delved onto his agent like vultures on a carcass.

They wheeled him away, with Ziva had broken free to follow right on their heels, her hands gripping Tony's wrist like a it was a lifeline and he knew that the jaws of life themselves wouldn't pry her hold from his agent.

The hospital was like every other hospital he had ever been in, too many people, too bright lights, disgusting smells and attempts to stop him.

"I'm his next of kin" he announced as he tried to force open doors to the trauma ward, McGee right behind him, still on his mobile, alerting Abby to the situation,

"His next of kin is already in there" the nurse argued vehemently, refusing to press the button.

Of course, Ziva would have used that lie already,

"Oh Ziver" Gibbs whispered, knowing that she wherever she was couldn't hear him,

"I am so sorry"

* * *

The moment Jenny Sheppard had received the emergency call from McGee she had run from her office, nearly breaking her neck as she flew down the stairs in her high heels. She had narrowly avoided collision with Palmer as he rounded the bullpen,

"With me" she ordered curtly, wondering where the hell Agent Cassidy was so she could order her to take Gibbs current case. He wouldn't appreciate the usurpation but he sure as hell wouldn't be leaving the hospital anytime soon and time was of the essence in this situation.

The elevator took too long to arrive; Jenny kicked off her shoes, picked them up in her hand and ignored Palmer's obvious shock as she trotted down the cement stairs, gathering dust and sharp debris on her stockings.

"You didn't just see that" she informed him as they reached the door to the parking lot, she grabbed his shoulder for leverage as she slipped her shoes back on,

"No ma'm" he agreed,

"Any idea where Ducky and Abby are?"

He didn't need to answer, they heard an engine roar and felt a gust of wind as a familiar scarlet hearse screamed past them; smoke came from the tires as it screeched to a halt. Abby stuck her head out of the driver's window,

"Get in!" she shouted, waving frantically and Jenny climbed into the backseat, Palmer following not even a second later and landing on her lap as Abby took off again.

"Sorry Director ma'm" he blushed furiously as she pushed him away,

"It's fine Jimmy" she reassured him, turning to see Ducky in the front passenger seat as she buckled up.

"What do we know?" she asked the three of them,

"As far as I am aware, the team was tailing a suspect on their murder case, they followed him to a factory downtown and were searching the premises when he tried to escape in his car, he ran over Tony in the process" Ducky reported, clutching the dashboard as Abby made an illegal turn and ran a red light,

"Tony sustained some minor bruising but severe head trauma…Good God Abigail slow down before you kill us all!"

Abby didn't answer and Jenny didn't feel the speed lessen in the slightest, she was used to it though, between five years driving with Gibbs and four months driving in Egypt with Ziva, erratic life-threatening driving didn't scare her.

Rather she wished Abby would drive faster so they could get to Bethesda sooner.

Jenny reached into the breast-pocket of her jacket as she felt her phone vibrate; anxious for reassuring news from McGee she flipped it open without checking the identification,

"Is he alright?"

She frowned in confusion, "Agent Cassidy?! How…?"

"One of my team was down in autopsy when Abby fetched Dr Mallard…is Tony okay?"

"I don't know" Jenny had to grab the door handle for support as Abby hit the brakes and she realized they had made it to Bethesda in record time, they leapt from the car and raced toward the off-white building.

"Just takeover for Gibbs until he or I say otherwise"

She hung up before Paula Cassidy could take up more of her time, and scrolled through her contact list, figuring out who to call if she had to get visiting limits overthrown.

From unfortunate previous experiences, every member of the quartet knew where the waiting room was, and Jenny spotted Gibbs pacing across the linoleum floor,

"Jethro" she moved towards him, her stomach sinking when she saw how pale and troubled he looked.

In that moment she wanted to reach out and grip his forearms with her own, the most intimate comfort she could think of for public areas. But she could tell that in his current state he would lash out, so she settled for stopping two feet away from him,

"Ziver hasn't come out yet, but the doctor says that DiNozzo might not need much more than stitches, surveillance and a lot of painkillers"  
Jenny couldn't help but smirk,

"Not much different from his morning after requirements"

"Yeah" he gave her a small grin, "He won't be getting a call from a hot blonde this time though"

It was on the tip of Jenny's tongue to suggest they buy Tony a nude magazine in place of a get-well-soon card before her mind processed the first part of Gibbs sentence,

"Ziva was injured as well?" she gasped, horrified by the thought of making the call to Tel Aviv, in her experience- the less contact with Deputy Director David, the better.

But her fear turned to concern when she saw Gibbs swallow; McGee turn away and Abby bite her lip and looked at her shoes.

"Officer David wasn't injured" Ducky comforted, "Why don't we go speak with Dr Pitt, see if I can't get a look at Anthony's medical chart"

Jenny Sheppard felt her jaw tightening as they left the waiting room and began weaving through the hallway, her teeth were clenched and her eyes narrowed, by the time they had reached the smokers balcony she was in full Director mode,

"Doctor Mallard, would you be so kind as to tell me what exactly I am being kept in the dark about?"

Ducky paused while a middle-aged couple stubbed out their cigarettes and went inside,

"I assure you Jenny that it isn't what it seems…" he began but she brushed him off, running her hand through her pixie cut hair, feeling a mixture of exasperation and delight,

"Really! Because it looks to me like Gibbs rule number twelve is being broken right in front of the team's eyes"

She wasn't prepared for the sadness that flooded her old friend's face,

"No…I'm afraid you are wrong in that regard…much to the dismay of those who care for them"

She took his hand in both of hers, "Tell me Duck"

* * *

_Earlier that morning_

Ziva smiled at the waitress and then headed outside, two glasses in one hand and a jug of water in the other. Four large tables graced the patio outside the café, and she chose the one in the middle, bathing in the sunshine. It was only seven o'clock and she had just finished her three mile run, a light coat of sweat covered her body and her shorts and exercise top stuck to her skin, drawing the admiring glances of the few men around.

She ignored them though, filling the two glasses and drinking greedily from her own, she kept an eye out as she saw a familiar red convertible pull into the parking lot.

Wearing sunglasses and looking as though he'd just fallen out of bed, Anthony DiNozzo yawned as he made his way over to her, dressed head to toe in designer clothes and returning the over-friendly smile thrown to him by the waitress.

"Good morning" Ziva settled onto the wooden bench as he took the space opposite her,

"Oh…" he feigned surprise, "Is that what you call this hour!"

"You look tired" she reached over and removed his glasses, running her thumb along non-existent bags under his eyes,

"Did _Macy_ keep you up all night?"

He scowled and swatted her hand away as she chuckled, taking her half of his newspaper,

"I ordered for both of us" she announced before opening the paper and beginning to read.

Amidst the reports of death, destruction and celebrity divorce, Ziva couldn't help but smile at her latest remark against Tony's taste in women.

Recently he'd 'dated' two women in a row with the same name and Abby had solved the confusing problem for the team by decreeing that henceforth all of Tony's women would be referred to as Macy.

Mentally. Absent. Certainly. Young.

Gibbs had given the title his approval and rewarded Abby with an extra Caf-Pow! Leaving the lab before Palmer could ask the million-dollar question,

"But what happens if he ends up marrying a woman called Macy?"

Abby had thrown him an exasperated but amused glance and Ziva had taken the opportunity to excuse herself, ensuring that she made it to the elevator before losing her composure.

What if Tony ended up marrying _anybody_, regardless of their name?

He was handsome, playful, compassionate, intelligent, funny and- since his father had died without rewriting his first will- extremely wealthy. He was an eligible bachelor, fair game for almost any woman.

Ziva being the one exception.

It wasn't that she was immune to his attractions; it was that everyone _expected_ her to be. There was an entire world of people out there who considered her and Anthony DiNozzo an incomprehensible pairing, Tony himself had remarked, almost casually, how unlike his usual type she was, how caring so deeply for her went against the careless disregard he had previously shown life and love.

For he did care for her, and she for him, but Ziva knew that she and Tony could never truly be together.

Gibbs, her father, NCIS, Mossad, everything they worked for and believed in would not allow a world where she and Tony could be lovers. So they had compromised, they found a relationship that gave them everything but physical gratification. That way they could avoid breaking the rules and being separated but still safely enjoy their love for one another.

Contemplating their acknowledged but unspoken relationship, Ziva picked at the breakfast she had ordered, wondering what to wear for her date tonight. She had met an accountant last week and been on two dates already,

"Something less sexy than the first two times" Tony advised, snatching some of her breakfast from her,

"If you've made it to the third date you have potential for a relationship and can begin easing into relaxed couple phase, nothing too relaxed though, I hate it when she starts to look like Cousin It from…"

They were interrupted by Tony's phone ringing shrilly, quickly he brought it to his ear,

"DiNozzo here…McGee, don't you know what time it is?! What…okay we'll be there…where else would she be? Later Probie"

"Got a lead" he announced and Ziva leapt to her feet, following Tony as they hurried to his car, their tri-weekly morning ritual in ruins.

"Hatton's killer?" she asked, sliding into the front passenger seat and turning to him,

"Hopefully" he tossed her the duffel bag that he always kept in his backseat. It contained a spare set of his clothes and hers, in case of emergencies.

"I do not even have time to shower" Ziva muttered mutinously,

"You smell fine to me" Tony reassured her as his new car purred to life,

"You are biased" she pointed out as she slipped on a black knit top, he chuckled,

"Yeah…but mine's the only opinion you care about"

She pouted, "True"

* * *

_Present Time  
_

"Ziver"

Through burning, strained eyes, Ziva looked up to find Gibbs standing over her,

"Go home, get some sleep" he ordered gently and she shook her head,

"Tony has not woken up yet"

She felt his disappointment as he sighed, "It's been six hours David…we'll call you when he wakes up"

"And if he does not?" a lone tear coursed down her cheek, tracking a path to the end of her nose and she wiped it away,

"If Tony dies tonight and I am not here…what then Gibbs?"

He rounded the bed and slipped an arm under her shoulders, pulling her to him in a gentle, comforting hug, kissing the top of her head,

"He's stable Ziver, he's not going anywhere tonight, if he even tries he'll be answering to me. Besides he won't wake up while you're watching him"

"A watched kettle does not boil" she quipped, blinking rapidly to stop more tears escaping her eyes,

"A watched pot never boils" Gibbs corrected gently, "Abby will drive you, go get some sleep,"

She nodded, touching her gun and wallet to ensure they were there. Then, clearing her throat so Gibbs would turn away, she bent over Tony, kissing him above his brow,

"Please do not die Tony," she begged him, "If you die then so will I…and I want to live, so, _so_ much"

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

A/N- I probably should have mentioned this is very AU Season 5

* * *

The moment Ziva David left the hospital with Abby, the tension in the waiting room eased.

No longer forced to watch her silent vigil, McGee was able to rid himself of some of the guilt he'd been feeling for the last several hours.

Guilt that he hadn't warned Tony in time, guilt that he wasn't the one lying on the hospital bed.

It wasn't so much that he could have prevented the situation, because he knew he couldn't have.

It was that he would rather rip his own heart out than see the pain Ziva was suffering over the senior field agent.

It was so raw, so intense that McGee could almost taste her heart-break on his tongue.

He had known that Tony and Ziva were in love- hell he'd written two best-sellers with their relationship as a major sub-plot, but because they worked so hard to keep their relationship out of the workplace, and safe from the curious eyes of Gibbs and Deputy Director David, he'd only ever seen glimpses of their passion. Passion that, as Ducky theorized was intensified by lack of physical pleasure between them.

Right now, McGee believed it.

And despite everything…despite seeing how much they suffered, how much grief it caused them both…he envied them with everything that he was.

Groaning as he rolled his shoulders, he settled back in the uncomfortable hospital chair, taking a long sip of the lukewarm sludge Director Sheppard had brought him, he stared at Tony lying there on the bed. After five minutes of debating whether or not it would truly be inappropriate to shave off Tony's eyebrows or draw some pictures on him with permanent marker, and deciding that Abby would probably scalp him for his insensitivity, McGee turned on the television settling on an old period drama. It was hard to get into, mostly because he didn't recognize it,

"You say I killed you…haunt me then, haunt me Cathy…just don't leave me!"

Nearly falling from his chair, Tim spun around to see Tony watching him through bloodshot eyes but smirking as he quoted the movie,

"_Wuthering Heights_" he announced, coughing as he tried to sit up,

"Lousy movie, nothing like the book, you need the latest remake, much better"

"You're awake" McGee murmured stunned, unable to believe his eyes even as he knew he should be calling Abby and telling her to turn the car around and bring Ziva straight back to the hospital,

"You seem fatter than you were this morning Probie" Tony announced, looking around the hospital room, "I should have taken the week off"

Tim rolled his eyes, "Yep, you're going to be fine…hang on I'll go get Gibbs"

"Okay, hey is this morphine?"

McGee slapped Tony's hand away from the machines, "Don't touch those and try to stay out of trouble for three minutes please"

"You've grown a pair McGoo, I'll have to cut those off you…hey" a goofy grin broke over Tony's face, "I rhymed!"

Making a mental note to get the nurses to reduce Tony's painkillers, McGee hurried to the waiting room to see Ducky regaling Palmer with his stories and Gibbs staring at a celebrity magazine while he gulped from a large coffee cup.

"Boss…Tony's awake"

Three pairs of eyes stared at him stunned, "Have you called Ziva?" Palmer asked, rising from his chair,

"Well…no I…"

"Let me talk to him first" Gibbs decided, striding past McGee, "She can take tomorrow off and sit in there till she's sick of him"

"If that's even possible" McGee murmured, loud enough for Gibbs to hear. The older man turned to him with raised eyebrows; he found himself blushing, "Well boss, it's just…"

"They aren't breaking rule number twelve McGee, the rule specifically states that you can't _date_ a co-worker, as Ducky pointed out to me"

"Yes boss" Tim demurred, as they walked into the private room,

"Hey boss!" Tony had managed to pull himself into a sitting position by this time,

"That car did a number on me"

Gibbs smirked, "Oh yeah…we had no idea how long you'd be out for"

"Did I miss the case? Who did it…wait let me guess…it was the girlfriend!"

Gibbs had lowered his head and was pretending to scratch his eyebrow,

"They hit him with the drugs alright"

"Did Kate get out of the explosion okay?"

Both men froze and stared at the wounded agent, stunned,

"What was that DiNozzo?"

Tony seemed confused by Gibbs question, "Kate…I know she and McGee got a head start when the bomb went off, but she isn't here…she's not hurt is she?"

McGee opened his mouth but no words came out,

"Get the doctor" Gibbs hissed furiously under his breath, "_Now!_"

* * *

Ziva pushed open the door and stumbled into the apartment, her exhaustion finally hitting her. Distractedly she noticed the sound of Abby's hearse pulling out of the car park and knew that the Goth scientist would be telling McGee about this.

Too tired to care, Ziva wandered through Tony's apartment, side stepping the mess he made every morning. She didn't bother turning on the lights but headed straight for the guest bedroom, a room she knew of but had never been in.

It had a bedside table and a single bed with supermarket sheets and doona cover. Not many men stayed the night at Tony's and the women tended to sleep in his bed,

"Or lie in it anyway" she murmured, finishing her thought out loud.

Pulling off her clothes, Ziva crawled into the bed and lay on her stomach, burying her face into the pillow.

Tony would medically stable, he would be fine. A few days from now they would be sitting in the bullpen, moaning about paperwork, teasing McGee and exchanging the occasional forbidden glance.

Everything would be fine.

In a few moments she was asleep.

* * *

"_You_ told me he was going to be fine!"

Jenny jumped as Gibbs shouted at the doctor, who could only raise his hands in an attempt to calm the man down,

"It appears to be a case of retrograde amnesia"

"He's lost four years of his life! He's wondering why his dead partner hasn't come to see him"

People were pausing in their activities and staring at the scene before them, ever conscious of bad publicity, especially around budget time, Jenny knew she would have to intervene.

"It will pass" the doctor predicted "his memories will return shortly"

Gibbs clearly wasn't looking to be placated though, he marched to within an inch of the younger man's face, staring down at him "And if they don't?"

"Jethro" Jenny hissed, laying a firm grip on his arm. Clearly construed as the more level-headed of the two, Doctor Pitt decided to speak to her instead.

"I am every reason to believe that Agent DiNozzo will make a full recovery"

Unfortunately, when it came to team Gibbs, Jenny herself became less than even-tempered. She gave the man an icy glare, "Make sure he does doctor"

Once he retreated, leaving Jenny with Jethro, she sighed and ushered him over to the elevator banks, waiting patiently for one to be emptied before stepping in.

Pressing the button to a level she had no intention of reaching, she stalled the elevator the moment it moved and turned to the man who had once been her teacher, her lover and had become her friend, confidante and advisor.

"It will be alright" she murmured soothingly as he pressed his hands against the back wall and leaned down, exhaling loudly,

"My best agent is lying in a hospital bed and soon I will have to tell him that his partner and friend is dead, that she has been dead for the last four years and that he has a new partner he trusts with his life but doesn't remember"

Jenny could only shrug and rub his back, "Maybe he'll recover his memory before then…maybe he'll see Ziva tomorrow and everything will come back"

He gave her a wry smile, "Never in my time at NCIS have we been that lucky, especially when it's been one of our own"

"There's a first time for everything" she clipped, patting gently as she continued running her hand in small circles against his jacket, it seemed to calm him slightly,

"Yeah…but I haven't seen Ziva cry yet, that first time could be tomorrow morning"

Jenny grimaced, but Gibbs kept talking, "Ah hell, Jen I don't know what to do…I can't explain everything to Tony in one hit, but I can't keep Ziva from wanting to see him without explaining everything to her, either way someone is going to be upset"

Unable to remember the last time she had seen Jethro uncertain, or if she ever had, she could only sigh and kiss his shoulder, "I might not know Tony as well as you Jethro, but I know that if anyone can recover from amnesia, in a ridiculously short amount of time…it's him"

"I sure hope so Jen, Ziva's not the only one who needs DiNozzo around to keep them going, without him, the team is lost"

* * *

"I know you're there Abs"

Abby flinched as Tony's voice filtered out into the hallway, where she had been hiding, as she assumed, out of sight. Biting her lip, she tried to think of the easiest way to extract herself from the situation, and couldn't come up with any conclusions. If she ran now, Tony would freak out, if she went into the room to talk to him, Tony would ask her questions she couldn't answer and freak out. If she continued waiting in the hallway…

Tony made the decision for her,

"If you're not in here in ten seconds Abs…I swear to God, I will harm Bert the Hippo!"

"Okay…okay!" holding her hands up in surrender, Abby scuttled into the hospital room, "I'm here, what is it?"

Tony just stared at her in amazement, "What is it?!" he spluttered,

"I just woke up in hospital with stitches in my head, one hell of a migraine and when I ask a simple question, 'where is Kate?' everyone runs away on me. I haven't even _seen_ Ducky for crying out loud!"

"Right" Abby stretched out the word to kill time, hoping a nurse or doctor would come in and interrupt the conversation, "Um…I'll go get Ducky for you now…"

"Abby!" she jumped as he shouted her name, his voice full of anger,

"What's happened to Kate?"

Caitlin Todd

Abby loved Ziva like a sister, she couldn't help it. Ziva had spent so much time being sent around the world and thrown into dangerous situations with other Mossad agents, which she had learnt to trust quickly and deeply. When she had been assigned to NCIS she had brought her habits of trust with her, and Abby couldn't help but adore someone who would take a bullet for you without the slightest question and wouldn't even think of reporting you to the Director. Plus, the fact that she made Anthony DiNozzo deliriously happy didn't hurt.

But at the end of the day, Kate had been Abby's best friend, in a way Ziva never could be, simply because they came from two very different worlds. So when she heard Kate's name, her eyes watered, something which Tony couldn't fail to pick up on,

"Oh God. Abby what…what's happened?"

He knew, Abby couldn't not tell him now.

"Tony" she took a deep breath and perched on the edge of the bed,

"Kate died, she was shot in the head with a bullet by Ari Haswari…"

"No…" Tony shook his head but Abby found that once she had begun she was unable to stop,

"After Kate died, Ari came after me…I wasn't harmed but when he went after Gibbs, he-well- his body got sent back to Israel, even though Mossad told us that he went rogue"

He was gripping his sheets so hard she was worried he would rip them to shreds, he looked as though he was about to be sick, "When was this?" he asked quietly and Abby wiggled her mouth nervously, "It happened in 2004 and now it's 2008 so…"

"Four years" he choked, tears welling in his eyes and falling over his lids, "I've been asleep for four years?!"

"No" Abby inched closer and took his hand, "No you've been awake Tony, you attended Kate's funeral and everything…but when you got hit by a car yesterday morning, you woke up with retrograde amnesia, which the doctors says will go away soon"

"Four years Abby? That's not retrograde amnesia that's plain old amnesia! I'm freaking out here"

"No need to freak out Tony"

Both of them looked up as Jenny came into the room, Abby saw Tony's eyes widen slightly as he admired the attractive red-head before him, Jenny only threw him an indulgent smile,

"The doctor assured Gibbs and myself that your memories will come back naturally and that in the meantime we simply need to keep you from becoming too stressed-and I am the Director of NCIS so please stop checking out my rack"

Tony gave her a rueful grin, "Sorry ma'm"

She smirked, "I'd forgotten what you used to be like. Abby, Jethro would like a word-"

Eager to get away, Abby jumped to her feet and followed the Director from the room, but not before she caught Tony's eyes,

"_Jethro_" he mouthed to her questioningly,

Abby winked.

* * *

Once again left by himself, it didn't take long for the painkillers in his system to send Tony to sleep. Or maybe it was the sheer exhaustion that came with finding out he'd lost four years of his life. Either way, when he opened his eyes again, it was late afternoon, his room had grown dark and the television had been turned on, playing softly in the background- and he wasn't alone,

"Paula?" he murmured curiously, recognizing the uneven blonde hair, and the strong Nordic features. She looked over from the television and grinned,

"Hey Tony…how you feeling?"

The last time Tony remembered seeing Paula, he'd confronted her about her bad reaction to their break-up and she'd attempted to punch him in the face, he'd deflected the punch and got away. Unfortunately it had happened in the NCIS parking lot and the Director had reprimanded Cassidy over her inability to control her emotions, something Tony had felt bad about.

Then again, according to Abby that had been four years ago, Paula couldn't still be angry at him, could she?

"From what I heard outside" Cassidy continued, "You have a slight case of amnesia"

"Huh" Tony scoffed, "As far as I'm concerned it's 2004 and the CIA has just admitted that there weren't any WMD's in pre-invasion Iraq while Return of the King has just won eleven  
Oscars, that reminds me, I've been meaning to buy that movie"

"Maybe you should get home and make sure you haven't brought it first" she suggested and he smirked, "Oh yeah, four years lot of time to buy a DVD, we still have DVD's right?"

She nodded, "There's also this thing called Blu-ray now but I don't think you own one"

"Oh" he lay back against the pillows and rolled his eyes, "Oh this is going to suck…anytime you want to come back memories just let me know!"

"Well this has been fun" Paula jumped to her feet, "But I have to get going, you guys left me a case to close"

"You're not on the team anymore?" he asked confused and she shook her head, "No I just came down here to give the Director a sit-rep, she wasn't answering her mobile and most of the NCIS office is stationed in the hallway anyway…except for Ziva David" she gave him a pointed look,

"Though knowing her, she probably left you in the hospital bed so she could go hunt down some terrorists, or report back to daddy dearest"

She'd obviously not intended for Tony to be able to hear that last comment, she threw him an embarrassed look, but he ignored it.

Ziva David. He couldn't bring a face to mind when he heard the name, just a great empty blackness in his memory, a large gaping hole where he assumed images, words and emotions were meant to be.

"Is she my partner?" he questioned, trying to imagine having a partner other than Kate and McGee. Paula simply snorted, "Amongst other things"

Tony felt heat rise in his face, "Is she my girlfriend?"

He knew it wasn't proper etiquette to question an ex-girlfriend about a current one, but team Gibbs certainly wasn't giving him any details at the moment.

She shook her head, "No I wasn't referring to that, simply to the fact that she serves two bosses. Us" she jerked his head towards him to imply NCIS, "And Mossad"

Tony could only stare at her in stunned disbelief,

"Mossad? As in the people whose agent _killed_ Kate?!"

Paula only grinned bitterly and nodded,

"One and the same"

Only by moving quickly was Tony able to get his head over the edge of the bed before he was violently sick all over the floor.

* * *

A/N- Going by the basis that you wouldn't want another Mossad agent aorund you after the last one put a bullet in your partner's head


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- Just a quick chapter to get the characters moving, sorry have writers block.

* * *

"Abby, what were you thinking?!"

Jenny jumped as Jethro rose his voice for the second time that day, catching the attention of the hospital staff and patients again. Unused to Gibbs yelling and his anger, Abby recoiled and looked to Jenny for advice. Knowing that she was once again being delegated the role of pack mother, she stepped forward to calm Jethro down,

"He knew something was wrong Gibbs...if I hadn't told him, he would have panicked and assumed the worst"

"His partner is dead Abby...there is _nothing_ worse!"

Jenny flinched as she recalled their mission in the Serbia, how they had been separated during a fire and she had been presumed dead. It had taken her only three days to find Gibbs again but the damage had been done, he had hunted down the men he'd though responsible and slaughtered every last one of them. When she had found him in the abandoned farm house, a mile west of where the bodies were buried, he had hardly believed she was there, that he could be that lucky. She still blushed when she remembered the way he had pulled her into the house, pushed her against the wall and made desperate love to her. They hadn't left the little house for the rest of the week, or strayed very far from the mattress on the floor.

She struggled to bring herself back to the situation at hand, Gibbs always knew when she was indulging in memories of their sex life and, right now, he wouldn't appreciate it.

"He would have found out anyway boss"

They turned to see McGee hurrying forward to defend Abby, no surprise, the younger agent always forgot his healthy fear of the legendary Gibbs when he thought Abby was in need of protection or support.

"Tony's smarter than he looks and we were all tiptoeing around him...or maybe the doctor or one of the nurses might have told him about his amnesia..."

"Yeah or maybe he would have recovered his memories on his own time and not needed to be told that Kate was dead!"

Turning away, Gibbs snapped his fingers at them in dismissal and even though she was the Director of NCIS, Jenny Sheppard found herself throwing him one last glare before following the stunned Abby as she headed to the hospital cafeteria in McGee's arms.

Had the situation been different, had it not involved Gibbs and his children, Jenny would have simply told him where to go.

* * *

He remembered the first time he had met Kate, the absolute outrage in her eyes as he and Gibbs went about hijacking the crime scene and her determination not to be bested by either of them. He remembered how at Gitmo she had diagnosed their relationship as a brotherly-sisterly bond, he'd loved that. He'd been so lonely growing up, in the huge houses filled with people who never had any time for him, he'd always wanted a sibling to play with, and now he had one.

He'd _had_ one.

She was dead now.

Dead at the hands of the terrorist she'd emphasized with, the one with the 'kindness' in his eyes. Kate had always seen the good in people, almost to the point of missing the evil, but he remembered Gibbs having adored that trait, god knew neither of them had it anymore.

And now she was dead.

He couldn't even remember his final moments with her.

The tears that stung his eyes had come after he'd finished retching onto the hospital floor, Paula had only lingered until the nurses and the cleaner showed up to pump him full of drugs and mop up.

The new director, the hot red-head that was on first name terms with Gibbs, had stuck her head in during the chaos, assessed the situation and disappeared again. Leaving him with more questions then answers and nobody around to talk to.

He wondered if this was how he had felt after Kate died.

The feeling was manageable by about midday, mainly because if had been drowned out by his supreme boredom. There was only so much television you could watch during the day outside of a movie marathon and the constant lying down was driving him crazy, he needed to be doing _something_.

Unfortunately in hospitals there wasn't much to do, for lack of better options he decided to go to the bathroom and look in the mirror, see if he'd made any drastic changes over the last four years.

Easier said than done however, though he hadn't suffered too much damage in the accident, according to the nurses anyway, he'd still been hit by a car and his body didn't like the idea of movement.

Just getting out of the bed had proved an issue for him and the moment he stood upright his vision swam and his head told him that it wanted to get back to the nice, soft pillow. Ignoring it, as he was prone to do, he began inching slowly towards the blue sliding door that presumably lead to his bathroom. He was halfway there before he realized he wasn't going to make it, his vision was blurring, his body was swaying and there was nothing around for him to grab on to, he was definitely going to hit the floor. Just as his knees began to buckle, the door to his room opened and he heard a female gasp.

"Tony!"

Before he could be certain that it wasn't the new director, two arms wrapped themselves under his shoulders and helped him to the hideous floral patterned couch just outside the bathroom door. He blacked out for a moment and when he came to he was lying down, with someone stroking his hair. The effect was so comforting he wanted to keep his eyes closed and stay like that, but curiosity got the better of him and he found himself looking at a smiling dark haired beauty, kneeling before the couch.

"Hello Tony," she whispered, her fingers still playing with his hair,

"Disobeying doctor's orders again I see"

He felt himself blushing, not because he'd been caught out but because this woman was being so intimate with him- and he had no idea _who_ she was.

Thankfully she was still talking, "If Gibbs finds you out of bed he will be unhappy, Ducky suggested you would need at least a week or so bed rest"

Feeling vulnerable in his current position, he decided to sit up, pressing his hands under him, he tried to lift his weight and once again found himself being embraced by the beautiful stranger. She clucked her tongue like a mother hen and helped him sit up,

"Do you at least want something to drink?" she offered and he shook his head,

"No thanks…I don't think I could keep it down"

"Yes you have been sick, what is wrong?"

So far people had been asking him how he felt. An irritating, idiotic but habitual question for hospitals, death beds, crime scenes and funeral parlors.

This woman cut through the crap and realized immediately that, aside from the obvious, he was hurting.

He shook his head and that was when his eye focused on the badge clipped to her belt and the gun holstered at her side. Suddenly her exotic accent, her interest in him and her familiarity clicked. This was Ziva David- his partner and the Mossad agent.

The Mossad Agent.

His face must have betrayed something because she stiffened and took her hands off him,

"Tony…what has happened?"

He only shook his head, memories of Kate too fresh to speak to someone who might have known her killer.

"I'm tired" he mumbled, turning his face away from her.

It was several heart beats before she seemed to understand,

"Then I shall see you later"

Before she left, she pressed her lips to his hair in such a gentle, undemanding manner that Tony felt a deep pang of regret for hurting her.

* * *

A/N- Read and Review please!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N- Sorry about the delay had uni exams, which taught me that I still own nothing to do with NCIS.

* * *

"Something has upset Tony!"

Ducky looked up from the paperwork at his desk to see Ziva barely over the threshold of the autopsy room, striding towards him with determination in her every movement. Foolishly, he politely waited for Ziva to continue, to explain the reason she herself seemed so distressed, but then realised, belatedly, that she had finished.

Because for her, that _was_ reason enough to be distressed, to have unshed tears in her eyes and bright colour in her cheeks. So Ducky turned in his seat and gestured for Ziva to pull up a chair beside him, wondering if perhaps he ought to offer her some tea, but she was a woman of routine and it wasn't one of their tri-weekly tea days.

"Why don't you tell me what happened?" he suggested, patting her knee affectionately as she leant over, staring down at the floor, when she spoke again she did so with obvious effort,

"When I woke around midday I went straight to the hospital to be with Tony and I found him awake..."

Ducky flinched at the accusation in her voice and was grateful he had elected to go back to NCIS and had plausible deniability of the information,

"I found him trying to walk to the bathroom and barely able to stand...I...carried him to the couch and took care of him while he was unconscious...but when he woke up...Ducky he could barely look at me without fury in his eyes!"

She broke then, shifting forward so she could press her forehead to his knees and weep, humiliation and despair soaking through Ducky's scrubs.  
"I do not know what it is I have done! Is it because I failed to protect him from the accident...because I was not there when he woke up? Ducky..._I do not_ _know_!"

It wouldn't be either of those things. Ducky had watched Tony and Ziva long enough to know they forgave each other for anything short of murder,

"Perhaps he was angry about something else" he suggested, quietly pressing his hand to Ziva's hair, marvelling at how great her hurt must be to be showing him her emotions.

"If he were angry at something else he would have told me, we have never kept secrets from each other...I wouldn't even know how to anymore" she raised her eyes to meet his, laughing deprecatingly at the incredulity of the situation,

"Millions of hours of Mossad training, thousands of days committing atrocities for my country, hundreds of codes, dozens of secrets and if Tony asked it of me...I would probably tell him every last detail"

"Then it's a good thing that he wouldn't" Ducky assured her, determinedly keeping his tone light and cheerful, feigning ignorance regarding the danger of her situation. Knowing that one wrong move on Ziva's part and Israel would hang her for treason. He wasn't the only one who was aware of this risk, once, when someone had quietly suggested the idea to Tony; the young man had warned SECNAV that if he ever planned to have him ask Ziva for secrets that she couldn't give, he would shove his resignation down the man's throat- and then tell the Mossad.

"I know" she told him, her voice thick with tears, "I know that...I..." she stopped and ran her hands over her hair, standing up and giving him her polite smile, "Thank-you for listening Ducky,"

He patted her hand, affectionately, "Anytime my dear"

* * *

Ziva decided to duck into the bathroom to check her complexion before heading back to the bullpen.

She could not stay at home and she would not go back to the hospital to linger pitifully in the waiting room like the unwanted relative or abandoned wife. There was paperwork to be done, not hers but she was sure Tony, McGee or even Gibbs would have some unfinished files she could complete for them. Something to take her mind off matters until the world righted itself again and she could be unendingly by Tony's side.

The bathroom was empty save for two women. Cynthia the secretary and Paula Cassidy, both were applying make-up, lipstick and blush, things Ziva never wore during work hours, considering them unprofessional. Whenever she saw agents with eyeliner, mascara or foundation she imagined them in dangerous situations where sweat would cause even the sturdiest make-up to run down your face and ruin your features. Besides in the Israeli heat, even the few minutes it took crossing the Mossad grounds was enough for the melting make-up to make you feel disgusting. However she smiled at both women as she leant over the basin and splashed her face,

"Ziva" Cynthia sighed, standing her lipstick on the counter, "How is Tony?"

Fortunately people had been asking her this question ever since she had left the hospital, stopping her in the hallway, texting her, or dropping by the bullpen on their way to lunch, so she was able to reply without losing her composure.

"He has regained consciousness and the doctors hope to be able to release him this evening if there are no complications" she reported dutifully, repeating her party line for the umpteenth time that day as she dried her face with paper towel. Cynthia smiled approvingly,

"That's wonderful, so the director will be returning to the office soon?"

The question was so typical of Cynthia that Ziva could not help but laugh, "If all goes to plan"

"Mossad officers have schedules and time-limits for wounded partners?!" Paula quipped from her position behind Cynthia, giving Ziva a tight smile as she dusted her prominent cheekbones,

"My, how..._efficient_"

Ziva stiffened slightly at the barb but forced herself to return a natural smile, reminding herself that feminine politics was something that happened in some workplaces. She had encountered it before at other foreign agencies, though she had never quite been able to master the ability of the sweet insult.

Ari had been a top-notch professional in that field.

"Unfortunately at the Mossad we do not recuperate for any longer than necessary, we do not have the luxury of having back-up teams to take our place on even the least important cases" she clasped her hands in front of her and shrugged her shoulders,

"That is why I am glad Tony and I are at NCIS, with you around to pick up our slack Paula, _thank_-you"

Come to think of it, her brother had been a good teacher after all.

* * *

Paula Cassidy's first instinct had been to run after the little Israeli and bitch-slap her all the way back to Tel Aviv. She'd reined that impulse in though, knowing that to hit a trained assassin would be equivalent to signing her own death warrant, or at the very least earn her a broken nose.

Instead she settled for snapping her blush container shut and hurling it into her make-up bag, admiring her reflection in the mirror as Cynthia bustled out again. She gave herself a genuine smile at the satisfaction she felt from knowing she looked good. At six feet with sharp Nordic features, bottle blonde hair and a rib cage that was visible when she took her top off, she could catch a man's eye.

Even if Ziva David held the man's attention.

The Mossad officer was a mere five ft eight, maybe nine with heels, with the stereotypical Middle Eastern features, olive skin, dark hair and eyes, with a body that had been toned by years of exercise and breasts that Paula didn't think that any soldier should have. Those were probably the main reason the men around the office smiled when Ziva walked past.

Sure the men on her team said her accent was 'smoking hot', but her broken English just reminded Paula of a five year old.

And her manner showed she had the understanding of one. Like all women in the workforce, Paula did find the lingering inequality between men and women annoying, and yes she did rebel against the stereotype occasionally, but imagine walking in to a men's bathroom to continue a conversation!  
Ziva David acted as though the gender taboos simply didn't apply to her. As though she were the equal of every man at NCIS save agent Gibbs and Paula knew that she couldn't be the only female who found her confidence infuriating. Recently Director Sheppard, who at least had the decency to wear heels and a skirt around the office, had asked Ziva to mentor some female intern who had made a grievous mistake in the field. The girl had been stupid enough as it was and certainly hadn't needed to be casually instructed to hold her head high and move along because next time she might make a right move or achieve something her co-workers were unable to.

Paula would have told her never to make the mistake again or she would fire her ass and considering she was the only female team leader at NCIS, surely Director Sheppard would have been better advised to ask her?

But no, of course she would ask Ziva, everything was about her, even though Paula would bet her garnet earrings that she was spying for the Mossad.

That woman didn't deserve to be Tony DiNozzo's partner.

* * *

"I want to go home!"

Gibbs sighed as Tony once again harassed the nurses, his head snapping back and forth as he watched them checking the machines around him; his eyes alight with energy and impatience.

"Bet you ten bucks you can't send me home" he teased the pretty blonde nurse, giving her the smile Gibbs had seen all-too-many a time,

"Shut up DiNozzo" he ordered quietly and Tony promptly fell back against the pillows, looking like a sulky child. "Shutting up boss"

The blonde nurse hesitated at the end of the bed and smiled nervously at them both, "If there aren't any complications, the doctors probably will send you home this evening, but you will need someone to watch you"

The DiNozzo grin returned, full watt this time, "When do you get off?"

Gibbs really wished Ziva were here at the moment, even if Tony didn't remember her, she wouldn't stand for his flirting; she'd find a way to keep him quiet. He smirked as the image of Ziva ripping up a bed sheet to make a gag for Tony's mouth sprang to mind, but unfortunately she had gone into work instead. Maybe keeping a low profile until her partner's memory came back.

After all, her presence on the team was something difficult to explain, difficult to accept.

Even for Gibbs who trusted her with his life, because sometimes when she laughed or turned her head a certain way, he saw Ari Haswari looking out through her eyes.

He saw Kate's killer.

"....you love me boss?"

Gibbs blinked and brought himself back to the present, he saw Tony looking at him, waiting for an answer to the question he had ignored,

"What?!"

"Do you love me boss?"

At first Gibbs thought they'd given Tony some more painkillers to shut him up, but then he realised where the question would lead.

"Nope, I could leave you here tonight without the slightest regret...see you tomorrow"

He smiled to remove the barb from the statement and patted Tony's foot on the way out the door,

"I'll get outta here sooner or later!" he declared as Gibbs stepped into the hallway.

It wasn't until he was in his car, sitting in the driver's seat and watching the sunny day pass around him, that the sniper allowed himself to really answer the question,

"Do I love you DiNozzo? When we first met you irritated the hell out of me, even if I could see how good a cop you really were. You were different from the other agents, even when I walked head on into trouble you just followed me right in, regardless of the potential damage to your career, when I was angry and lashed out at you...you just took it and went straight on, accepting my apology even though I never gave it to you. I didn't need to get married again after you came along because you went beyond work and bounded right in to my private life without so much as an invitation, but you stopped me from being lonely, making me feel better than I had since Shannon and Kelly died, giving me what I had been looking for all those years in between. Yeah, I love you Tony, you're the son I never had"

"Doesn't mean I want to spend the evening with your annoying ass though"


	5. Chapter 5

A/N- Sorry about the delay- this will be the one for a month, I'm heading overseas.

* * *

"Quick Abs, drive like the wind!"

Abby rolled her eyes at Tony in the back passenger seat, ignoring his comment as he bounced up and down, throwing nervous glances back at the hospital,

"Are you quite certain you've been given permission to leave Tony?" Jenny inquired, seated next to the potential escapee.

"Of course Madam Director" he assured her in his most sickly sweet innocent voice,

"Uh huh" she turned to Abby, "Better do what he says Abs, I don't want to have to fight a nurse off him"

McGee snorted, "Stay out of his apartment on Sunday mornings then"

"Hey!" Tony slid forward in his seat as Abby started the car and Jenny had to help him put his seat belt on,

"The only time there are nurses in my apartment is when it's Halloween!"

Jenny snorted and rested her forehead on her fingers as she laughed, "Oh if only Gibbs were here, he'd slap you right back into the hospital"

"The doctors asked Gibbs not to head-slap me for a week or two"

"Because Jethro sets great store by what doctors say"

* * *

Abby blocked out the friendly banter that Director Sheppard and Tony were enjoying in her backseat, it was a natural part of the relationship between the two. Though Jenny was Tony's superior and quite capable of firing his ass or sending him off to Gitmo as either an interrogator or prisoner, she was also a very attractive woman. Tony seemed to see it as his ordained duty to flirt with her, even if Gibbs head slapped him every time.

Jenny for the most part was like a part time member of the team, occasionally she would kick off the high heels, slip into some sneakers and come along to a crime scene, join in an interrogation or get dusty in the evidence locker as she helped sort through files. That was when the relationship between her and Gibbs became hinky, no-one quite knew how to treat her when she reverted back to a field agent, Gibbs especially seemed to have trouble remembering not to head-slap her.

Abby was sure she had it easiest during those confusing time, Jenny always treated her like a favourite niece no matter what, which she supposed made McGee the potential nephew-in-law.

"Turn left at the hot blonde Abs"

Abby snorted at the directions, "I know the way to your house Tony" she promised, taking the correct turn, "I was there like four times last month"

"_Really_! Ow!"

"My head-slaps are softer than Jethro's" Jenny excused, putting her hands back in her lap as they pulled into the car park of his apartment building.

"Okay" Abby announced, slipping from the car, "Come on Tony, bed time"

Tony scrambled out of the car and Abby saw him grip the roof as he swayed uncertainly, his eyes closing tight for a moment against the late afternoon sun. She bit her lip,

"You sure you're okay to get inside Tony"

He nodded, back to his cheerful cocky self, "Unless you want to stay the night with me, Abs?"

Ziva would kill her.

"Gee, what an offer...I'll have to take a raincheck though"

He laughed, "Next time then"

"Are you sure he'll be okay without supervision?" Tim asked as Abby slid back into the driver's seat and pulled out of the car park, Abby shrugged,

"He told me the doctors thought it would be unnecessary"

* * *

Wondering if he had been wrong to lie to Abby and co. about the doctors orders, Tony slowly inched his way up the pathway to his apartment, taking the time to ease his fingers into the right pocket of his jeans and find his house key. Someone had dropped a spare set of his clothes at the nurses' station for him to wear home, along with some necessary items. Rather than be touched by the thoughtfulness though, Tony had been unnerved. When he'd tried to thank Gibbs for it, the man had thrown him the strangest look and denied responsibility, the rest of his team members and Paula Cassidy had followed suit. And then he had thought back to the woman, the woman who had stroked his hair, who had kissed his hair and seen right past his facade.

The woman who knew him well enough to know where he usually kept his house key.

"Ciao Anthony"

Tony's thoughts were interrupted by Mrs Fumei, his elderly neighbour from downstairs; she'd been there since before he'd moved in.

"Ciao," he replied quietly, feeling his head ache and craving his bed, "Comme stai?"

"Bene, bene"

Thankfully she was on her way to evening mass and left him to climb the stairs to his apartment, jamming his key into his door and all but stumbling inside. Now safe, he closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall, letting the key fall from his hand, content to lean there and take deep breaths until he could risk moving again.

It took a few moments but he was able to trudge through his apartment and manage to even observe its contents. Obviously he hadn't felt the need to redecorate much over the last few years, and may have lost his maid. One of his silk ties lay on the living room floor, one of his shirts lay across his couch, a pair of pants graced the doorway to his bedroom and his bed looked as though he'd just rolled out of it. Everything was how he remembered it saving for a few differences.

Sinking down onto his couch, he lay down and buried his head against the soft cushion, figuring that it was comfortable and the room was dark enough for him to sleep on for that night, and it was just as safe as his bedroom.

At least he'd thought that right up until he heard someone letting themselves into his apartment.

He heard only the faint click as his lock was turned over and then the sound of his door scratching against the carpet. He only had time to pull himself into a sitting position before the dark haired woman appeared in his home, her eyes widening in surprise when she spotted him.

"I thought you would be asleep" she whispered as greeting, "Were you not able to make it to the bedroom?"

It was on the tip of Tony's tongue to promise her that he was fine, that she needn't worry, but then he remembered Paula's description of the Mossad officer,

"What the hell are you doing in my apartment?" he hissed, reaching down the back of his couch for the old hand gun he kept there. He had been issued with a new gun every time he had started a new job, rather than get rid of them though, he'd decided to stash them around the house, figuring he could never know which way his enemies would come in.

The woman had the grace to look embarrassed and shifted the bags in her hands,

"Gibbs ordered that I drop in with your paperwork, I do not think he truly comprehends the meaning of sick leave"

Tony flushed at the insinuation that she wouldn't have come unless the boss man had twisted her arm, that she didn't want to be there with him. The rational part of his brain was reminding him that he'd been rude to her earlier that day, but a lifetime of rejection from those meant to be closest to him had left him hard and quick to anger.

"How'd you get in?" he asked, standing in the hope that his height would intimidate the woman, or at least make him look less vulnerable.

Every inch of her seemed tense and it was an obvious effort for her to fake casualness as she swept to his coffee table, "I used my key"

Her key?

Anthony DiNozzo had given a woman a key to his place? Last he'd checked he didn't even give women his home address or phone number anymore. There had been too many incidents regarding jealous exes for him to risk it.

"I _gave_ you a key?"

She laughed darkly, "No Tony I lifted it off you, made a dozen copies and handed them out to all your enemies. Of course you gave it to me!"

Had both of them acted differently the situation might have gone better, as it was, the two proud agents were getting angrier by the minute,

"Then I must have been having an off day, so you won't mind giving it back!"

She blinked at him in surprise, and for a moment her beautiful face showed how deeply he had hurt her. Then he couldn't see because she had flung the key in his face,

"Fine, if that would make you more comfortable"

Rather than storm from his apartment however, she went left, right into his bedroom. He followed her and found her in his chest of drawers, digging through and throwing several things onto his bed,

"What the _hell_ are you doing?!"

She emerged with an arm full of clothes, "If I am not welcome in your home then presumably neither are my possessions"

She pushed past him and into the hallway, returning with a duffel bag,

"How much of your stuff is in my house?" he asked, with a growing sense of dread and regret, she only laughed,

"Oh Tony, only as much as your stuff is in mine"

He desperately wanted to apologize then, he stood frozen to the spot as she continued packing. He'd made a terrible mistake; quickly he reached out to touch her arm, something about the soft skin under his hand seeming familiar. She stopped, the bag falling from her hands as she turned her head to look at him,

"Tony...you are my _life_, tell me what to do"

"I don't know what to do" he confessed, sinking down onto the bed, "I just...I woke up and found that four years of my life were gone, my partner was gone and...everything is moving too fast for me to keep up"

Rather than get angry with his childishness like Gibbs would have done, or stand there helplessly like McGee. The woman- Ziva- knelt before him, taking his hands in her own,

"Take as long as you need Tony, I am not going anywhere, you know that"

He nodded and felt a ridiculous amount of relief at her assurance, "Thanks...um, I guess you can leave your stuff here if you want"

She chuckled, patting his cheek "I never intended to remove it"

She kissed his hair again before she left, and this time Tony found himself catching whiffs of lilies and roses. Along with the memory of a ridiculous price tag and shipping rate,

"Javier Christian number five" he muttered, frowning in confusion at the new memory "Did I buy you that perfume?"

She only threw him a jaunty wink before swaying from his apartment, closing and locking the door after her. When he checked later Tony would find that she'd taken his key and left him with her metallic pink one.

* * *

With a pair of binoculars that she had 'borrowed' from the evidence locker at NCIS, Paula Cassidy watched as Ziva clattered down the stairs of Tony's exclusive apartment building. When she got closer to the gate, having to wave at the security camera to catch the guard's attention, Cassidy was able to see a grin on the woman's face that reminded her of the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. Clearly the meeting with Tony had gone well, in fact if it had been longer than ten minutes, Paula would have sworn that Ziva had dropped more than a couple of bags. She looked like she had just rolled out of Tony's bed.

Paula gripped the binoculars so hard she cracked her fire-engine red acrylic nails.

* * *

A/N- What'dya think? Read and Review please


	6. Chapter 6

A/N- A few things,  
First thank-you for all the lovely reviews but (here is where I duck for cover) unfortunately the evil blonde woman in question is Paula Cassidy...here me out! I am using this character as she may have been having survived the death of her team and because, frankly, I am exceptionally lazy and it is easier to use one of Tony's ex-girlfriends who is also an NCIS agent with the right to be running around the Navy Yard then it is to create a whole other character with a background to introduce when honestly I'd rather focus on Tony and Ziva rather than try and create a villan you can all hate and sympathise with.  
Second- here is the chapter, hope you like it. If it seems Ziva is reading Tony's mind at one point its because they just know each other too well.  
Third- it was Australia Day when I wrote this so I was feeling the weird mix of patriotism and anarchy that is truly Aussie and yes it is both true and delicious.  


* * *

"Don't even think about it DiNozzo"

Ziva looked up from her computer screen and blinked, surprised by the scene before her. Tony had clearly woken up this morning thinking he stood a chance of sneaking into work under Gibbs' nose,

Perhaps that blow to his head had been harder than anyone had originally thought.

"Aw come on boss, I'm going crazy at home!"

Gibbs didn't even look up from his computer, still banging one finger across the keyboard, making McGee wince, "You're also recovering- sick leave isn't meant to be fun DiNozzo"

"But..." Tony floundered speechless for a minute before setting his bag down on his desk,

"I'm all better" he volunteered hopefully.

She snickered and covered her hand with her mouth to hide her laughter, throwing Tony an apologetic look. Across the bullpen McGee grinned with amusement, even as Gibbs looked less than impressed, "Really?"

Having typically not thought ahead, Tony still tried to bluff his way through, "Yeah, doctor said I could come back to work and everything"

"Uh huh" Gibbs pointed at Ziva, "What's _her_ favourite colour?"

Resting her chin on her hands, she leant forward on her desk and watched with feigned innocence as Tony searched his still amnesiac ridden mind for the answer.

"Uh...pink?!"

She chuckled and shook her head teasingly, fighting past the slight discomfort in her stomach that arose every time Tony looked at her with the bewilderment of a stranger.

"Ziver," Gibbs grabbed his empty coffee cup and went for a refill,

"Take him home, tie him to the bed if you have to"

Nodding her compliance, Ziva rose to her feet as Gibbs passed, veering to head-slap DiNozzo on the way out, "And don't come back until you know what year it is!" he ordered,

"Hey!" Tony unwisely called as their boss stepped into the elevator, "I know the year, 2008!"

"I think he meant mentally, Tony" McGee pointed out, returning to his work, Tony scowled,

"Silence Probie, you're giving me a headache"

"Then I should definitely take you home" Ziva interrupted before Tony and McGee could get into a full slanging match, she strode around her desk, shouldered his bag and took his hand,

"Come"

The look on his face reminded her of a petulant toddler, "I don't want to go home, it's boring there, I have nothing to do"

"There is plenty to do at home Tony," she assured him as they walked to the elevator,

"You can watch your movies, read a book, lie by the swimming pool"

"I've done all that" he argued, resting his weight on the ball of his feet so she had to actually pull him into the elevator, "Why can't Gibbs just let me do paperwork?"

Ziva knew she could never be truly angry at Tony. Though occasionally they would get heated and exchange words they never meant and regretted deeply minutes later, they had never actually felt angry towards one another. So exasperation must be what she was feeling now, exhaling as the doors closed, she hit the emergency button and turned to her dearest friend, looking him directly in the eye,

"You almost died Tony! You lay bleeding on the ground, you were in the hospital, you are unable to remember anything from the last four years..._you should not be here!_"

He flinched as if she had slapped him and, for a moment, looked so vulnerable that guilt and sorrow rushed through her veins as she finally realised the true cause behind his attempt to come in NCIS. Stepping forward, she cupped his face in her hands, tilting his head down to match his eyes with hers,

"I am sorry" she whispered, "I should not have spoken like that...I know you are lonely but you can _not_ come into work"

He frowned and eyed her suspiciously, "How'd you...never mind"

Reaching past her, he flicked the emergency button and the elevator came back to life, leaving Ziva to wonder how to properly rectify the situation. Since his mother's death at the age of eight, Tony had found himself, as early as three days after the funeral, alone. His father had either been unable or unwilling to care for him and Tony had spent long holidays left in hotels or cold mansions with no-one to talk to or play with. As a man it had left him with an aversion to being alone, weekends and short holidays weren't too bad, but having been locked up in his apartment for a week with only short infrequent visits from the team, who'd suddenly found a rise in small scale crimes, had been hard on him. He was withdrawn now, refusing to meet her eyes, though she felt him watching her curiously as she pressed the doors closed as they reached the entrance lobby of NCIS and pressed another button. She was wearing a small smile on her lips when they stepped out to see the entrance to Abby's lab where they could hear the dark music playing.

"Come," she winked conspiratorially, "Gibbs will not be back for at least fifteen minutes, we can hide you down here"

He frowned again, this time in confusion, but allowed her to lead him through the door- where Ziva found herself suddenly releasing Tony as Abby barrelled into him to him from the side.

* * *

"Tony" she squealed in her excitement, bouncing up and down as she kept her arms wrapped around his neck, "Yay, you're back!"

He grinned and hugged her back, "Sorry Abs, just visiting"

"The real question being...are you allowed to be?"

Everyone looked up as Paula sashayed over from the widescreen, her hands behind her back as she inspected Tony with a knowing eye. He cast a chagrined smile at Ziva who gave him a quick small shrug.

"More or less" they uttered in unison, giggling like naughty teens.

Ziva jumped as her phone vibrated and pulled it off her belt to see McGee's number and a quick four word message,

"We have a lead" she announced, referring to the latest case. Confused, Tony looked to Abby for explanation

"Someone on the U.S.S Seahawk smuggled a like _six ft_ boxing kangaroo on board when it pulled out of Darwin Harbour last week," Abby told Tony, her hands brokenly signing the words in her amusement,

"When the captain found it, it was so agitated it gave him a black eye and broke two ribs"

"And now we are trying to find out who did it" Ziva finished, standing behind Tony and placing a hand on his shoulder, as she deposited his bag at his feet

"The Australian's do not take mistreatment of their animals well"

Paula wrinkled her nose in confusion, for a moment, caught up in the absurdity of the case

"Aren't they like the one country in the world that eats the animals on their national coat of arms?"

"Well, yeah but they take care of the animals before they do that"

"Huh...ow!"

Tony suddenly pressed his hand to his head as the light seemed to become too bright and the music too loud, "Headache"

Ziva squeezed his shoulder in sympathy before coming up with an idea,

"Paula, would you drive Tony home? Gibbs wanted me to but now..."

Interrupting, Paula smiled sharply, "Of course...it's not like_ I_ have anything important to do"

Tony winced at the sarcastic tone in his ex-girlfriend's voice, unfortunately over the last week he had learnt that Ziva's English wasn't yet perfected enough for her to understand subtle, hidden insults,

"Todah" she called innocently as she hurried from the room, leaving Abby to turn awkwardly back to the computer and tap unnecessarily at the keys, eager to escape the situation.

Meanwhile Tony gave Paula an apologetic smile to which she only raised an eyebrow,

"Amazing how unimportant you become when she gets a lead" she murmured, coming to stand almost uncomfortably close to him, he shrugged,

"That's just Ziva" he automatically explained before memories began to skitter the surface of his mind.

Nothing distinct, nothing he could visualise but he knew now that there had been times when Ziva had stopped whatever she was doing because she'd connected two previously inconsequential details in a case and come up with a clue or a lead to someone they'd thought innocent. Times when she had stopped talking mid-conversation, hurried out of restaurants, cinemas, hell once even out of one of McGee's book signings. He felt uncomfortable now as he contemplated this habit of hers; did it make her a great agent or a really disinterested friend?

He wasn't quite sure.

* * *

"So..." Paula began as she pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building and killed the engine,

"What's it like not having Kate around?"

Tony blinked in surprise at the question and then felt his eyes burn at the mention of her name,

"Painful actually" he answered truthfully, too tired to lie "I know it's been four years or something, but when I walked into work this morning and saw someone else sitting at her desk...it hurt so much you know"

She gave him her thin-lipped smile, "I thought it might, when I lost two of my team last year...man it changed everything, I'm not even the same person anymore"

He gave her a shadow of his usual grin, "I'm probably not either I just can't remember"

She laughed and the familiarity soothed him,

"You know, you're the first person I've spoken about Kate with, no one else has asked me"

She shrugged, "I was the first person you discussed it with the...last time as well, figured I'd be the best for the conversation"

He glared mockingly at her, "That's cheating you know"

She returned the look, "Deal with it DiNozzo"

They broke into laughter again and this time Paula reached over the handbrake to catch his hand in her own. He stared down at the intimacy and curiously enough, wondered why it felt like treachery.

Why it felt like cheating.

Then Paula broke through his thoughts with her kind, familiar voice,

"Tony...I know this must be hard on you, so whenever you want to talk...try to remember I'm here"

He chuckled at the joke even as he was touched by her offer, "Isn't that what partners are for?"

For the briefest of seconds he could have sworn her hand tensed, but then she was smirking nonchalantly, "Ziva David?! I would bet my career that woman's never had a weak moment in her life, besides..." she rubbed his hand with her thumb,

"You can't really talk about a dead partner with a live one, it's bad luck!"

He shrugged, "Guess it's just you then"

She walked him to his door, waving politely to Mrs Fumei as she passed them by. Before she left, she gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek and, even as he felt a recognisable twitch of lust,

He couldn't help but feel it was wrong somehow.

* * *

A/N- Let me know what you think.  
P.S- The animals on the coat of arms of Australia are the kangaroo and the emu- because they can't walk backwards, they can only ever move forwards- like all creatures native to australia they're both vicious buggers if you get too close, (a boxing kangaroo can actually cause severe injury to a human if it gets too close) but they taste great barbecued and are available from most major supermarkets.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N- Sorry this took so long. I've been really busy and trying to wtire a chapter where something other than people's feelings happen.

* * *

"Well, everything seems to be in perfect working order, your brain scans are normal and you appear to be quite healthy..."

"Except he still can't remember the last four years of his life" Leroy Jethro Gibbs growled, staring at the doctor with an expression Jenny Sheppard wouldn't have thought possible on anything but a pit bull.

Perhaps the man had resigned himself to death, because at this point he only gave a casual shrug,

"I honestly don't understand why his memory hasn't returned...I can only suggest trauma or stress"

To prevent him lunging at the doctor and tearing his throat out, Jenny slapped her hand against Jethro's chest, stopping him in his tracks,

"How about medication?" she suggested, looking to Tony sitting quietly on the table, not looking the least bit phased by anyone's behaviour, "Might that help?"

"It might" the doctor allowed, "However it would severely inhibit his ability to work, I would not even suggest he use motor vehicles or handle any weaponry while he is on them"

"Oh great, amnesiac or catatonic...those are my options" Tony muttered, the carefree jovial mood Jenny had suspected him of faking all morning disappearing under the severity of the situation. Sighing she balanced her forehead on her fingertips,

"So, even if Agent DiNozzo were to take medication...medication that would hinder his ability to move independently, you can't be sure it would work?"

"No ma'm"

"And aside from his amnesia, there is nothing wrong with him? Nothing that would endanger him in his home or on the field?"

"No ma'm"

"Right then," she straightened up, took her hand from Jethro's chest and tugged at her fitted jacket,

"Congratulations Tony, I expect to see you at NCIS at oh-seven-hundred tomorrow morning"

"Thank-you Director"

He hopped off the table and followed both her and Gibbs as they made their way out of the hospital, stopping only to sign some forms.

* * *

The moment they were through the doors, Jenny took her cell phone out and turned it on, seeing she already had several missed calls and even more text messages. Fighting back a groan she accessed her inbox and scrolled down, seeing Abby Scuito's name at the top of the list,

_***  
Is he ok?  
Wat does doc say????  
Abby : )  
***_

Jenny lifted her eyebrows, having not even been aware until thirty seconds ago that Abby Scuito had her phone number. Mindlessly tapping a response to the Goth she reached the car and automatically took the front passenger seat, beside Jethro.

Behind her she heard Tony talking on his phone, regaling his good news and smiled; assuming he was talking to his partner and feeling glad he seemed to finally have accepted Ziva into his life.

"Ciao Paula"

Except that the woman on the other end of the phone wasn't Ziva David.

Blinking in surprise, she cast a sideways glance at Gibbs, but he was still too busy fuming over the doctor to be of any use to her. Troubled, she continued checking her messages, her concern growing when she saw Ziva's name amongst the messages in her inbox,

_***  
When will Tony's memory return?  
***_

No greeting, no inquiry about Jenny's health- straight to the point, the way Ziva usually did things.

Except Jenny couldn't remember a single time when something had happened to Tony that the Israeli didn't know about before anyone else. From work incidents to Facebook updates, if Tony or Ziva had something change in their lives, they were always the first people to know.

Before Jenny had just accepted it as a matter of course, assuming their partnership and long work hours just given them slight social dependence on one another. Now that she knew differently however, she wondered what the heck was going on.

"Tony" she twisted her neck to look into the backseat, "Have you told Ziva you're coming back yet? I'm sure she'll be glad to have you back"

Tony only shrugged, "She'll see me when I come in tomorrow I guess"

Eyes widening in surprise, Jenny met Jethro's eyes and watched as his lips thinned almost imperceptibly. It took concentration for the director to pretend Tony's comment wasn't confusing to say the least, to divert him she began chatting about the recent debacle with the FBI when she had dropped by the J Edgar Hoover building during her lunch hour and the Director had pulled out all stops, assuming it was some sort of diplomatic co-operation meeting between the two agencies when really, she'd just gone there with two tickets to a Disney production for Fornell and his daughter. They were all still chuckling when they dropped Tony off at his apartment, having to park in the street because a car that looked vaguely familiar was in his visitor space.

She gave a cheerful wave as Gibbs hit the gas and the car sped down the street, then she exhaled and turned to him, raising her eyebrows,

"What's going on?"

He shrugged keeping his eyes on the road, but Jenny saw the violence in his gesture and the fierce manner in which he gripped the wheel.

"My team has spent the last few weeks floundering, waiting for everything to return to normal. Ziva's been stunned, McGee's been guilt-ridden, Abby's been hysterical and Tony's been absent"

"Sounds like a Monday morning" she quipped, reaching over to rub his shoulder when she saw him digging his nails into the foam of the wheel,

"And now, thanks to the quacks, DiNozzo's memory hasn't returned, so to him Ziva David is just some weird, Mossad operative who confuses him..."

"As opposed to a partner he understands and trusts completely" she finished for him, kicking off her high heels and pulling her feet up onto the seat as they drove towards the Navy Yard,

"Yep, you can imagine the wonders that's doing for everyone"

"His memory will return eventually" Jenny sighed, as he manoeuvred into his favourite park at NCIS, he killed the engine and turned to look at her,

"How do you know that Director?"

She gave him a cheeky grin, "Cause sooner or later you'll head-slap it back"

* * *

Paula Cassidy looked up from the television as Tony swept his way into his apartment, picking up one of the beer cans she had set up on the coffee table,

"Here's to no more sick leave!" he announced, and she knocked her can against his own, laughing at his obvious joy,

"I didn't know you missed work so much" she commented, taking the opportunity to slide closer to him on the couch, if he noticed the move he didn't comment, he seemed absorbed in studying the beer can,

"I miss not being active," he revealed, his voice thick with sudden emotion "I miss the feel of doing something meaningful every day, I miss everyone. McGoo, Abs, Ducky, Ziva even Gibbs!"

_Her?_

It took all her training not to show her surprise at his casual mention of his partner. While Paula's car had taken up residence in Tony's guest park for the last week or so, the Israeli had still been visiting after work, coming into his apartment and trying to prompt his memory while he continued to treat her with a mixture of uncertainty and bewilderment. He'd never mentioned her to Paula though, and she'd striven to make sure she didn't exist when she and Tony were home- alone,

"Ziva?" she feigned casualness by playing with a stray curl of her hair,

"So you remember her then?"

He frowned in confusion, looking up from the can to her, "No...why?"

"You just said you missed her"

"I did? I guess...I don't know"

Paula gave a quick shrug to show how unimportant the matter was and ran a finger up Tony's arm,

"Well...I can think of a better way to celebrate your return to work other than midday drinks"

A few minutes later their laughter was cut off by each other's lips as they made out on the couch, one of the beer cans toppling and going unnoticed as it spilled onto the living room floor.

_

* * *

_

"Ziva...Ziva darling come here!"

Ziva looked up from her colouring book as she heard her mother's voice from down the hall. Curious she pushed her crayons aside and left her bedroom, tripping over her pink dress as she did so. Stomping her foot in annoyance at the long dresses she hated wearing, she marched towards her mother's bedroom, trying to walk as her daddy did. A maid ushered her into the large bedroom and Ziva looked around the opulent bedroom only to find her mother sitting at her dressing table, in front of the large mirror. Rachel David waved away the maid who was brushing her hair and turned around to look at her daughter,

"Ziva precious, come to your mummy who loves you!"

Smiling at the silly voice, she hurried forward and giggled as her mother's long red hair covered them both. Receiving a quick kiss she stepped back to see her mother wearing a long blue evening gown and ropes of pearls.

Rachel clapped her hands and laughed delightedly, "Ziva the way you're standing there, you look just like your father"

Ziva liked that, she went to stand beside her and stretched onto her tip toes to peer into the mirror and see if she did look like her daddy. Rachel laughed again and took a long sip from the pretty glass in her hand, "Yes just Eli, strong, smart and proud"

She stopped smiling then and waved the maid forward to continue brushing her hair,

"Perhaps if I had half of your or Eli's pride I would pack my things and leave tomorrow" she announced sullenly, catching her daughter's eye in the mirror, bright green on chocolate brown eyes.

"But I don't, all I have is my passion and my beauty- which isn't enough, not when the music stops, the guests go home and all you're left with is a husband who doesn't love you and a family who couldn't care less for your happiness"

Ziva frowned in confusion,

Rachel was talking again and Ziva tried to focus,

"One day my daughter, one day you're going to fall in love and I can only pray that you don't have my passion, only your father's cold heart"

_ trying to understand what her mother meant, she knew that nobody was coming to the house tonight, except Hasmia to pick up Ari. She liked Hasmia because she always brought her treats and colouring books with dinosaurs- instead of the stupid princess books that daddy insisted she play with. Her mother never got dressed up for Hasmia though; usually she was busy upstairs while daddy took Ari to the front door and kissed them both goodbye for the week._

_Hearts were cold? Whenever Ziva had a nightmare and crawled into Ari's bed, she would press her ear tight to his chest and try to hear his heart through his pyjamas, he always felt warm._It had taken her years to see the humiliation and grief her mother had suffered for her marriage to Eli David. Years to understand that crying when you were sad didn't make the pain go away, and usually it only made your enemies happy. Smiling was the best weapon, smiling even as your heart shattered into so many pieces you doubted it would ever be whole again.

"Why is daddy's heart cold?" she asked, sneezing as expensive perfume was sprayed liberally into the air,

"Because he is handsome and charming and can make any woman he meets love him..." Rachel paused to apply lipstick, "And because he can do that, true love- the way I love him even without the jewellery, the big house, the expensive clothes, the servants- means very little to him. It often does with those kind of men"

The faint sound of the door chime reached the bedroom and Rachel gasped, slamming the lipstick case down onto the wooden top so hard that the gold cracked. Quickly she raised her glass and a maid refilled it, only so she could drink it all in one gulp.

Ziva was slowly inching towards the door, hearing her brother jumping down the stairs, calling to his mother. She wanted to say goodbye to her Ari and see Hasmia again, but Rachel stood up and tottered over, bending before her daughter and showing her the tears in her eyes,

"Smile darling- even when the man you love is breaking your heart, smile and show the world you don't give a fuck!"

Ziva gasped as her mother said a bad word.

* * *

That was why when she came into work early on that Wednesday morning to find Abby decorating Tony's desk with a welcome banner, and McGee hastily returning the 'borrowed' property, she quickly fixed a million dollar smile on her face and pretended she had known all along that he was returning to work that day. And when she heard the elevator doors open and saw Tony step out, she rose to greet him and kept smiling even when Paula Cassidy appeared and wrapped an arm about his waist, looking for the entire world like his girlfriend.

Everyone on the team hurried forward to hug Tony and welcome him back- everyone except Ziva, she lingered behind, still smiling but unable to move for fear the pain in her heart would affect her legs.

'Just keep smiling' she told herself firmly, 'Just keep smiling and you'll survive'

Besides, even if Tony was unintentionally causing her the worst pain she had ever felt.

At least he seemed happy.  
_  
_That small piece of knowledge was enough for her to step around her desk and rub his shoulder affectionately, turning a blind eye when Paula kissed his cheek.

* * *

"If she gets any more territorial on him, Tony's gonna find her name tattooed on his forehead!"

Ducky started in shock at the venom in Director Sheppard's voice, leaning against the railing of the MTAC gallery; he glanced over at Gibbs to see if he showed the same surprise. The younger man only shrugged however and turned his face to Jenny who was stationed between them both, watching the reunion with a glowering face.

"What is it with women and a distrust of tall blondes anyway?" he asked with nonchalance and Ducky found himself distracted,

"I believe it is psychological Jethro, an emotion that has to do with our mating..."

"It has to do with her draping herself over the man one of my best friends cares deeply about!" Jenny interrupted, pushing back from the railing and moving towards her office door. Both men followed, turning their backs to the office floor so their expressions were hidden,

"Eh, I'm not jealous" Gibbs offered deliberately misunderstanding and earning himself a glare,

"I was talking about Ziva!" she had her hand on the door handle of her reception and had pushed it open infinitesimally,

"She'll cope" Jethro's voice lost all humour and Ducky placed his hands behind his back and fixed his eyes on his shoes, "It's just another woman in a long line of one night stands and short term relationships, she and Tony have long had an agreement that they screw around where they will as long as they come home to each other in the morning...kinda like an open-marriage"

Ducky blushed out of respect for Anthony and dear Ziva as the more intimate aspects of their odd relationship were unflinchingly exposed. It was one thing to be aware of the situation but it was quite another to talk of it. Nor did it seem to appease the Director,

"There's a difference Jethro, between having a mistress and inviting her home for dinner with the wife. _You_ should know that"

The men could only flinch as the door was closed in their face and they were left staring at a flyer for the work Christmas party. This in their current mood only served to remind them how long the hunt for Hatton's killer had been going on without a single new lead or understanding what had led to the man's grizzly death.

It was a sobering thought.

* * *

A/N- Having just read a review about the Jack Knife episode I think I'm going to write a TIVA fanfic with Werth dying a hideous, gruesome SAW I-VI style death. Thank-you, read and review.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N- Sorry this took so long, I've had the major scene in this chapter stirring in my head for a while I just didn't know how to get to that point.  
The extract of the poem mentioned in this long, long chapter is by Sir Thomas Wyatt and titled 'The pillar perished is whereto I leant'  
I own nothing but the lovely reviews

* * *

Abigail Scuito had never considered herself to be a manipulative schemer.

Oh sure, _some_ would say she had Leroy Jethro Gibbs wrapped around her little finger, but she knew that Gibbs indulged her, that he liked playing her surrogate father. She also knew never to push him further than their set boundaries; otherwise she ran the risk of receiving her very first head-slap.

So when she watched soap operas or movies with female characters that put more planning into their bitch-fights than the U.S put into the war effort, she always said a silent prayer that she wasn't one of those brainless bimbos.

Until now. Right now she was willing to give the scheming manipulation thingy a go.

"Abby I am telling you, I am _not _upset"

Abby rolled her eyes at the computer screen, fighting the frustration she felt at the woman standing in front of her, facing the platinum television,

"Well at least that's one of us" she muttered sarcastically before mindlessly pressing a few buttons to clean up the security footage in front of her, once again showing the fateful day when one of their own was hit by the car, turning away from it when all she got was more snow.

"Tony's memory is returning" Ziva assured her, "Just yesterday he remembered Jethro"

It probably hadn't hurt that McGee had a photo of the large German Sheppard as his desktop background. Tony was bound to have seen it sooner or later, but at least he had recognised the dog that had mauled McGee while it was high on heroin.

When prompted with images or words Tony could remember certain things, cases they'd had, suspects they'd questioned, which vending machines were the easiest to get unpaid candy from...

But for some reason the larger part of his memory bank remained empty, making Ziva nothing more than a work partner.

And Paula Cassidy the trusted former ex and now current girlfriend.

Even McGee was starting to get annoyed at the ridiculous amount of time Paula was spending around Tony, the woman had practically taken up residence at his desk, keeping a spare make-up kit in his drawers and wearing an oh-so-irritatingly smug grin.

"I just wish Tony's memory would hurry up and remember the rest" Abby announced, "Honestly if I have to spend any more time around Paula my hair will turn blonde"

Ziva laughed, "Abby you are naturally blonde!"

Abby impatiently waived that detail aside, even while taking a selfish pleasure in the knowledge that her hair and eyebrows were naturally golden, while Paula had to visit an expensive salon once a month and get her roots done every other week to keep her colour.

"Did you know she's invited herself to the Christmas party?" she revealed, hoping to finally see some anger from her surrogate sister, but, once again, she was sadly disappointed,

"All of NCIS, the Navy Yard and half the FBI and CIA are invited to the party Abby, it's hardly exclusive"

"No" Abby stomped her foot against the floor, "She's invited herself to come along with us"

"Actually Tony invited her, because I suggested it"

Ziva had almost whispered that last part, seemingly afraid that Abby would throw a fit if she heard,

She was right.

"What!" the Goth screeched, staring at her in disbelief, "Are you insane? Have you hit your head too? You did didn't you, you hit your head at some point and forgot to tell any of us, I can't believe you would..."

"Abby she makes Tony happy" Ziva interrupted, stopping her friend mid-rant, her facade finally cracking and showing real emotions. Anger, hurt and resignation, but her voice remained strong and clear,

"Tony doesn't remember me and he understands that the team is frustrated by that, it makes him upset to think he is failing us in any way and he is confused by the way everyone has changed over the last four years, so he takes refuge in the familiarity that Paula gives him. I know this because I know Tony more than you ever will, so please stop telling me how I should treat _my_ relationship with him!"

* * *

Abby sniffled as Ziva stormed from the room, and she knew she should apologise to her friend, but she also knew that if one more person gave her advice on how to act around her partner she would snap and kill them all with office stationary. Deciding against the elevator, Ziva ducked into the stairwell, easing under the concrete stairs that led to the first floor and sheltering in the dark, hidden corner, pulling her knees up to her chest like she was a little child again.

Whenever her father had been angry, her mother drunk and Ari hadn't been there, she had often crawled into odd spaces to hide from the world so that no-one would see her cry. She wondered now what her mother had done, because she had never seemed to disappear, or to hide, in fact even when Eli had come home with lipstick on his collar and smelling of other woman's perfume she had gone on smiling. She wished she could talk to her now, could put her head in her mother's lap and cry her eyes out for the heart break she was feeling, but her mother had died years ago. One stormy night she, Ari and Talia had been sitting in the hot house, watching the rain hit the glass rooftop when a maid had interrupted their silent reverie to ask if they knew where Rachel was. Ari, whom her mother had never spoken to, mentioned that he had seen her take the car keys. In the morning her father came home in tears to announce that Rachel had lost control of her car and it had gone over a cliff.

Now she was older, Ziva knew better, but she also knew she would never be able to follow in her mother's footsteps, she had faced too many close calls as a Mossad operative not to cherish life with a fierce intensity. Nor could she sit by and watch Paula try to sideline her in Tony's life, that blonde might have her body with which to entrance Tony, but Ziva was not without her own arsenal.

Grinning wickedly to herself, she crawled out from her hiding spot and dusted herself off, humming a lullaby under her breath as she went to make alterations to the Christmas party.

* * *

"Wasn't it nice of Ziva to invite us over for pre-party drinks?" Abby gushed, looking over her shoulder at Tony and Paula as they walked down the hallway to Ziva's apartment.

"You know I can't remember the last time we were all here as a group, it has simply been too long" Jenny added, bringing up the rear, smiling pleasantly, "Paula have you ever been here before?"

Paula resisted the urge to turn around and slap the Director across the face, knowing that even if Gibbs wasn't standing right next to the red-head it would end ugly. To control her anger, she closed her eyes for a moment and brought to mind how she had joined Tony during his shower, overcoming his objections about the time with a few choice actions,

"No I haven't" she confirmed, "Though I'm surprised the Mossad didn't spring for her to get a house, her and her brother always seemed like they were accustomed to a certain lifestyle"

To their credit, none of team Gibbs stopped dead in their tracks when she finished speaking but Jenny and Abby certainly shut up and McGee looked like he'd swallowed something nasty.

"Ziva has a brother?" Tony inquired innocently, "Have I met him?"

Paula had long since grasped the fact that, amongst the MCRT, Ari Haswari was a taboo subject. She imagined that it would be difficult for Ziva to be a proper team member if her brother's homicidal rampage was constantly brought up in conversation. She grinned at the obvious discomfort the people around her were now feeling, having known they wouldn't have told Tony about that particular detail just yet. Probably praying that his memory recovered before they had too, which meant she had another weapon in her arsenal.

"Look we're here!" McGee announced using the same tone that some would greet the second coming with. Before anyone could speak he rapped smartly on the wood, his movements nonchalant but his face showing that he would be ready to kick the door down if Ziva didn't answer it in time.

Except when the door opened the guests found themselves facing Doctor Mallard,

"Ah Hello" he cried, stepping back to allow them in, "Merry Christmas all!"

They entered the apartment slowly, Abby and Jenny having to stop to receive a kiss on the cheek from which Paula was exempt. She ignored the slight, noting it as just another in the long, long line she had received from the team. Instead she looked around the apartment, noting with chagrin that while Ziva wasn't living in a large mansion, she was hardly slumming it. The room was slightly bare, but the couch and two armchairs looked like top designer items, the bookshelf against the wall held some expensive pieces and when she saw the wineglass in Jimmy Palmer's hand she could have sworn that it was _actual_ Murano glass, not just the cheap fakes that poured out of Venice every day but the goblets that you could only buy on said island.

"Shalom" Ziva interrupted her reverie by emerging from the kitchen with a silver tray in her hand, upon which several more of the deep red and gold leaf wineglasses, all of them filled with alcohol.

"Merry Christmas" she held the tray out, and Paula watched as Gibbs and McGee moved forward each taking merlot while Jenny took two glasses of Moet, handing one to Abby and then taking a third for Tony. The tray empty she smiled at Paula,

"What can I get you? I wasn't sure what you liked"

Stunned by the normality of the question and the seeming lack of evil intent behind it, she allowed herself to defrost slightly and followed Ziva into the kitchen,

"I'll just have the red thanks" she murmured, causing Ziva to turn to her stainless steel fridge.

Actually now that she thought about it, Ziva was the only person in the luxurious apartment- aside from Tony- who had been treating her with any respect or kindness lately, and the one person whom Paula was sure would have true reason to hate her.

Maybe she wasn't as completely alone as she had thought.

* * *

"It's a nice place you got here"

Tony watched as Ziva tilted her head at him and laughed, his smile faltered and he frowned at her,

"What?"

She shook her head, pressing her hand to her lips, "Nothing it is just that...you are standing in the exact same position as you were the first time you complimented my apartment and you used the exact same words"

"Oh" he covered his embarrassment by shrugging, "Well I still mean it"

She nodded, her amusement making her eyes sparkle but Tony didn't see the humour in the situation. Everyday this woman standing before him, his partner or the rest of the team, would say or do something that reminded him that as far as they were concerned, the sooner his memory came back the better.

This in turn reminded him that he was still missing four years of his life.

Oh sure he remembered a few things, like the time his nose had been broken by a drug crazed marine, or the time he'd met McGee's little sister, but they were like shovels of dirt being thrown into the Grand Canyon- they were there but surrounded by vast empty nothingness.

It was a sure-fire way to make him feel like crap.

Perhaps both women saw this because Paula shifted uncomfortably and Ziva's face fell, she reached out to him, her hand brushing his arm,

"Forgive me" she requested softly in her creepy, ultra intuitive way. But for once Tony wasn't freaked out by how she always sensed his emotions- because he was too busy staring at the bracelet wrapped around her wrist.

It contained several strands of white pearls that were held together by a gold clasp with a diamond in the middle. It was a perfect remake of the one Louis XV had gifted to his mistress Madame de Pompadour.

Tony knew this because it had belonged to his mother.

"Where did you get that?" he asked quietly, working hard to keep himself controlled. He saw momentary confusion as she followed his gaze but it quickly became horror,

"I...am so sorry Tony, I wasn't even thinking..."

She ducked her head as she tried to remove the bracelet from her wrists, causing her loose hair to fall forward over her face, to reveal the earrings in her lobes.

He reached across and cupped one of the dangling pearls in his fingers,

"My father gave those to my mother on their wedding day" he noted, having spent hours staring at the few pictures he had of her. "She had her ears pierced especially for the occasion"

His voice was louder now and Ziva's face was red with mortification, she opened her mouth but no words came out. Instead she hurried from the kitchen, still struggling with the bracelet.

Ignoring Paula as she tried calling him back, he followed her. Finding himself in her bedroom, he automatically closed the door behind him. She was bent over her dressing table, fidgeting frantically with the earrings, he watched as she took them off and pulled a little velvet holder towards herself, her movements becoming slow and tender as she placed them inside.

He moved to stand behind her, his eyes on her neck and her back, exposed by the emerald green cocktail dress and looking delectable. He forced his gaze away from the smooth, olive skin though and met her eyes in the mirror, his stare enough for her to sink slowly to the stool beside her and slightly off centre from the table,

"Truly I did not think Tony," she whispered softly, keeping her eyes upon his and her hand resting lightly atop a hand carved wooden jewellery box,

"Because I always wear the pieces when I dress up like this, it was simply habit for me to put them on"

He wasn't listening._  
_

* * *

_"Buona sera!" he announced as he pushed open her bedroom door, swanning in with his trademark cheesy grin on his face and a bag tucked under his arm,_

_"Tony" Ziva cried, spinning to face him, adorned in a stunning fifties style silver gown, her hair loose and flying everywhere while she held a straightening iron in her hand._

_"It is called knocking, it is an American custom!"_

_He snickered, "Not when I have a key" he held up the silver key she had given him just last week, she glared at him and turned back to the mirror,_

_"Then perhaps I shall take it back"_

_"Uh uh mine now" he tucked it into his back pocket for safe keeping and advanced further into the bedroom, plopping down onto the bed and stretching his long legs out._

_"You don't hurry we're going to be late" he teased, making a point of checking his watch,_

_"You are more than welcome to leave without me" she retorted, knowing full well that she could take three centuries to get ready and he would sit right here waiting for her._

_"Nah, I like it fine right here, besides..." his grin grows wider, "If I leave now you won't get your present"_

_She chuckles, "Why does this sound like the beginning of one of your porn movies?"_

_"If it was, that dress would be a lot shorter"_

_He makes this comment while he reaches into the plastic bag at his side, his hands coming into contact with an old but familiar wooden box, he draws it out and sets it on his lap, turning it round so that the opening of the lid faces her._

_Ziva looks over her shoulder and laughs at the intricately designed piece of art, having just recently been subjected to the Disney movies._

_"Tony, you did not have to kill Snow White for me, but I appreciate the gesture all the same"_

_He smiled at the joke but his expression was lined with both grief and tenderness, reaching across the lid; he unclasped the lock and slowly lifted it back, catching her attention. Her eyes flickered over the contents briefly before they went wide with surprise and she set down the iron, her mouth open,_

_"What?...Tony, are those real?!"_

_He stood up and took the three steps til he was standing at her back, gently lowering the box onto the table in front of her, displaying the red diamond necklace and earrings to perfection._

_"These belonged to my great-grandmother" he explained, "When her third husband died she used his insurance to go to Africa and buy these dirt cheap- there was a ring as well but Gram had to use that to buy her way out of Mexico"_

_She raised her eyebrows, "Ah pears do not fall far from the tree yes?"_

_"Apples neshama*" he corrected gently, his fingers touching her silken strands and drawing them back over her shoulder,_

_"And if you don't like them, I'd be happy to..."_

_Ziva slapped his hand away as he pretended to reach for the box, "I would never say that ahuv*"_

_Pouting she admired the gold setting of the jewellery, "Unfortunately it means I shall have to change"  
_

_He grinned, "Not exactly"_

_Reaching past the diamonds he flicked at the corner of the blue velvet covering, lifting it up to show another set of jewellery underneath, a pair of pearl earrings and bracelet modelled after Madame de Pompadour's few pieces, lacking the sparkle of the diamonds but holding their own in elegance._

_"These will go perfectly with your outfit" he promised, undoing the bracelet as she held out her right wrist, she snickered,_

_"Let me guess, your great grandfather wore them pole dancing in Spain"_

_"Not exactly"_

_It was then she spotted the folded piece of paper tucked into the corner and snatched it up, unfolding it quickly and reading it before paling._

_Tony didn't need to read over her shoulder, he'd known for years what the letter contained._

"Daily to mourn, till death do it relent.  
But since that thus it is by destiny,  
What can I more but have a woful heart ;  
My pen in plaint, my voice in careful cry,  
My mind in woe, my body full of smart ;  
And I myself, myself always to hate,  
Till dreadful death do ease my doleful state"

"Thomas Wyatt" he whispered as she finished the poem, her eyes wide with confusion,

_"My father placed it in there after my mother died"_

_"These belonged to her" Ziva realised, slowly touching the earrings with a mixture of emphatic grief and personal sorrow showing on her face,_

_"And they belonged to your grandmother yes?"_

_He hummed in agreement, remembering how he had used to handle the jewels late at night and pretend they contained his mother's spirit, trying to feel close to someone he could barely remember._

_"Tony..." Ziva turned to him and he saw the tears in her eyes, "These are not mine to have, these jewels belong to your wife"_

_"I don't have a wife" he pointed out, tugging on the earrings to remove them from the velvet, but Ziva hid her face from him, staring at the floor_

_"When you find one...these will become hers"_

_"Yakar*" Tony knelt in front of her and cupped her face in his hands,_

_"We both know that I have already found my wife, that she is the only woman I could ever love but that I am unable to marry her, but that doesn't mean I can't give her everything my father gave his wife and his father before him"_

_Ziva sniffed and gave him a shaky smile, "Even if she does not have anything to give him in return?"_

_"Well I hear her heart's up for grabs"_

_"No...no Ahavat chayai*, it belongs to you Tony, always and forever"  
_

_She smiled and he released her so she pick up the earrings, "I can already tell these shall be my favorite"_

* * *

Tony felt the air leave his lungs and the strength leave his knees, to prevent himself from ending up on the floor he quickly staggered to the edge of the bed and sank down, burying his face in his hands and hiding himself from the world.

"Tony...what is wrong?"

It had felt like hours had passed while he had been reliving that most intimate of memories, in truth it had probably only taken a few seconds for the fragile world he had been slowly building up to come crashing down around him.

"I gave you those jewels" he whispered, looking up over his hands to find her standing above him, beginning to smile as he felt his throat tighten with unshed tears and his hands shake with emotion,

"I spoke to you in a language I can't even remember learning and it wasn't to ask how your day was either"

"You remember speaking Hebrew?" Ziva asked delightedly, smiling as she played with the Star of David necklace,

"I remember using it to call you things I can't ever remember saying to a woman before, things I can hardly believe I said, and you weren't exactly holding out on the endearments either"

Her smile faltered and she reached over to cup his chin in her hand, "I am sorry...I had hoped wearing the jewellery would jog your memory, I did not realise how much it would distress you"

He felt his eyebrows shoot up to somewhere near his hair line, "You planned this?!",

She nodded, looking chagrined but not the least bit guilty, "I was being selfish, I wanted you back"

She did not ask for his forgiveness and strangely enough Tony knew he had already given it to her, months if not years ago. Suddenly exhausted and not wanting to deal with anything more tonight, he swayed as he got to his feet, habit making him look in the mirror to ensure everything was in place before walking to the bedroom door,

"We're going to be late" he announced dully, not meeting her eye as she brushed past him,

"Jenny is with us, the party does not start until she is there" she chided gently, smiling as she swept across the living room, everyone trying their best to not make it obvious that they had been trying to hear the entire conversation.

Paula came forward and laid a hand on his arm, looking up at him with such tenderness that had he ran her through with bullets Tony doubted he could have more guilty,

"Come on babe," he murmured, trying to muster a genuine smile and failing,

"Let's go paint the town"

* * *

Bearing in mind it is nigh on impossible to find any Hebrew to English translations and vice versa through google, here is my very very very crude attempts.

Neshama- Soulmate  
Ahuv- Beloved  
Yakar- Precious  
Ahavat Chayai- Love of my Life


	9. Chapter 9

A/N- Sorry about the delay had trouble getting this story forward

* * *

Gibbs looked up at the wooden panelling above the door as a far off clock struck midnight; the dutiful clang was nearly lost amidst the polite chatter and chamber music of the gapingly large reception room. A waiter appeared at his elbow with a silver platter, on which a forest of champagne in long shining glasses swayed precariously,

"Nah" he refused quietly, pushing off from the wall he'd been leaning against and heading through the formally dressed crowd. People stepped out of the way for him, men in tuxedos and women in cocktail gowns and jewellery demurred, smiling and addressing him by his last name as he strode past.

No-one tried to stop him for conversation though; there weren't enough people in Washington with the courage for it to fill an elevator. Had Fornell been here, he would have made a point of stepping in Gibbs past and blocking him just for the heck of it. But no FBI agents were at the NCIS Christmas party, and little Emily Fornell was starring in the school play, Team Gibbs were scheduled to attend closing night but Tobias had been there for every performance, even the final rehearsal.

Smiling gently at the thought, he emerged from the crowd and looked about him for his team. They never stuck together at parties; they branched out for various duties and pleasures. Jenny, as Director of NCIS, had to rub elbows with the right people. Ziva often joined her, taking the opportunity to act as a Mossad representative. Tony, though nobody said it outright, performed the role of team leader, spending the evening rebuilding the bridges Gibbs had burnt throughout the year. Abby worked at his side, her lovable, addictively happy nature helping smooth any of the rough edges. McGee, Palmer and Ducky focused inward on the departmental side of NCIS, the accounting, human resources and the evidence divisions- sweetening them up for another round of the MCRT breaking the rules and ignoring the procedures. He could see them now, stationed at the bar, handing out drinks and grinning widely as a crowd around them laughed. Catching Ducky's eye he saw the older man lift his head slightly and following his gaze saw Jenny surrounded by male admirers- as usual. Then just past her he saw Ziva talking to a grumpy looking General, Abby chatting animatedly with the man's wife.

Which...wasn't...right.

Frowning he looked around trying to spot his senior field agent's tall frame, his concern growing when he couldn't see him anywhere. Cutting through the crowd again, he shouldered his way through the monkey's dancing attendance on Jenny, he touched her gently on the elbow and bent his head to her ear,

"Where's DiNozzo?" he asked quietly, feeling her tense up beside him,

"He left twenty minutes ago, I tried to stop him but he said he'd remembered something important"

* * *

Some days Gibbs could have cheerfully choked Ziva David and thrown her body down the stairwell.

Yes she was a good officer,

Yes she had almost single-handedly added the finishing touches that made Tony one of the best agents Gibbs had ever worked with,

And yes DiNozzo and Ziva combined made a unstoppable and damn brilliant partnership.

But unlike the rest of his team, Ziva did not blindly follow orders and when it came to Tony- Gibbs, more and more frequently, found himself treading carefully, knowing that in the case of what was considered to be in DiNozzo's best interests, Ziva thought herself the one and only expert and any attempt to contradict that belief was met with astounding hostility.

Normally he could take a step back and allow Ziva this responsibility, but her scheming little trick earlier tonight had proved that her partner's feelings were now taking a backseat to her own desires. When Gibbs had seen DiNozzo emerge from her bedroom, the younger man had seemed shaken and pale, unable to even pretend that everything was alright.

And he had seen the man crack jokes when he was infected with the plague.

Glowering now, Gibbs cut through the crowd and stormed towards the doors. He was going to find DiNozzo, sit the man down and plough him with alcohol until he knew he was alright.

He was so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he didn't notice a certain Israeli slipping out behind him.

* * *

"Tony...Tony I really don't think we should be here!"

Ignoring Paula, Tony hurried from the elevator towards the bullpen, with only the standard night lights helping him find his way. Out of sheer habit he almost headed to his desk, remembering only at the last second where he intended to go. Veering sharply left and nearly running into a confused Paula, he rounded Ziva's desk and sank down into her chair, pressing the necessary buttons to get the computer up and running.

"Whatever it is Tony, I'm sure it can wait til morning"

He looked up at Paula, standing there shivering in her cocktail gown, looking decidedly unhappy and smiled apologetically, "I'll be five minutes tops" he promised, running the mouse back and forth across the pad in the hopes it would move things along.

She sighed and perched on the edge of his desk, "Would you at least tell me what we're doing here?"

"The lights" Tony muttered, staring at the numerous files on his partner's computer,

"What lights?" Paula asked, moving to sit in his desk chair, opening and closing his drawers in boredom,

"At the party, the men's room had these really bright lights, ridiculous really, but I remembered something from the accident" he looked up from the computer and met her gaze as understanding dawned on her,

"You remember the accident?" she gasped, he shook his head,

"I remember that they were driving with their fog lights on...it was a foggy morning, but I've never seen the video footage of the accident, so I'm hoping to jog my memory a little further, hopefully catch the bastard that did this"

"But the suspect committed suicide," Paula reminded him, to which Tony shrugged as he finally found and opened the correct file,

"He wasn't alone in the car and he sure as hell wasn't the one who murdered Hatton, nor did he have the clearance to be selling Gitmo secrets"

"That wasn't in the case file!" Paula closed his desk drawer with a loud bang that startled him as the grainy video started to play.

"We couldn't prove..." his voice trailed off as puzzle pieces started to fall through his unconscious and land in jumbled pieces in the forefront of his mind.

Petty Officer Hatton had possibly discovered that someone was selling information about NCIS security at Guantanamo Bay on the streets, it had cost him his life and their main suspect, a rumoured hit man had gone to meet with his employee when the MCRT team had appeared in the area. They had escaped together, in the car, except that Tony had glimpsed them and in a split second they had decided to silence him. Since then the MCRT team had been taken off the case completely and the leads they had been so sure about had simply dried up or disappeared.

Selling information about NCIS security at Guantanamo Bay...

"Paula..." Tony ignored the grainy image and looked up over the computer, comprehension dawning on him at the same moment as horror.

"What have you _done_?"

She didn't answer at first, just continued reclining back in his computer chair, caught in the shadows, her face hidden by the darkness,

"You know my agents..." she began, her voice clear and emotionless "the ones that died, they both had wives, and living off their widow's benefits is so _hard_, especially when you've got children to feed...Can you imagine working at NCIS for years, risking your life all the time, pushing yourself harder and harder and all you'll have to show for it at the end is debts and a measly pension?" she broke off then, laughing quietly under her breath. She shakily got to her feet and Tony realised with dread that she was holding his gun in her hand, the gun he'd left in his desk drawer. The barrel gleamed in the light as she pointed it at him and in his shock he slowly stood up.

"No you _can't_ can you, because your father left you thousands, Gibbs gets former Marine payments, McGee sells books, Abby publishes papers and _Ziva_" she spat the name like a curse, her face becoming ugly in her hatred, causing dread to run down Tony's spine.

"I am on both the NCIS and Mossad payroll" the familiar Israeli accent finished.

Both Tony and Paula's heads snapped to the right where Ziva was entering the bullpen, a gun fixed on Paula, her gaze steady, still adorned in her cocktail dress

"And the Mossad covers my living expenses" she continued casually, a predatory grin on her face,

"Which is very convenient" she flicked the safety off her gun to punctuate the end of her sentence and paced until she stood at the corner of her desk, "Put the gun down Paula"

"You aren't going to shoot me!" Paula scoffed, "I am an NCIS agent, they could ship you back to Israel for this"

"You are a felon who sold government secrets to anyone with the cash to pay for them" Ziva pointed out, "I honestly doubt Jenny will reprimand me for this"

"Don't forget hitting me with a car" Tony muttered, not fully sure if he'd intended to say that aloud.

"_If_ I allow myself to think about that, I will not be capable of mercy" Ziva growled, but Paula attempted to laugh,

"You haven't shot me yet," she taunted, but the uncertainty was clear in her voice and the hand holding the gun shook slightly.

"Tony _loves_ me" she cried desperately to Ziva, who simply shook her head. Both women forgetting Tony as he stood behind the desk, watching the scene frozen, torn between intervening and fear that sudden movement would startle one or both women into firing their weapons.

"Perhaps he did once, perhaps he still does, maybe he will hate me for killing you, maybe he won't. It does not matter Paula, Tony will forgive me, it may takes months, it could even take years but he will forgive me eventually, I can wait" Ziva took a step forward and shifted her gun slightly so that it now aimed at Paula's head,

"What I cannot do however, is allow someone who harmed the man I love to live. Ani Mitzta'eret*"

Paula screamed in furious anguish as the bullpen filled with the sound of gunfire. The sounds must have alerted the security guards because immediately after an alarm started to blare over the PA and the electricity was cut with the emergency generator kicking in to bathe the office in an unearthly red glow.

* * *

Waiting for a few breathless seconds only to ensure there would be no more gunfire, Tony dove around the desk to find Ziva lying on her side. Horrified, he called her name as he threw himself to his knees and frantically reached for her,

"Ahuv?" he whispered, his hands rolling her onto her back to search for blood or wounds, "Neshama?" he tried again desperately, his heart stopping when he saw that her eyes were closed.

"Ani Chai*!" Ziva gasped as she opened her eyes, "I am fine, I must have knocked my head when I hit the floor"

Tony breathed a sigh of relief and held out his hands to help her sit up,  
"Don't ever frighten me like that again"

She gave him a gentle smile, "Of course not...is she dead?"

Leaning down and looking under his desk, Tony saw Paula's eyes staring sightlessly out at them both. Her blood was already staining the carpet.

"Yeah" he swallowed, feeling grief at the loss of another female agent, even if this one had been a traitor. "Yeah, she is"

Ziva nodded and cupped his cheek in her hand, "I am sorry that you had to pull the trigger"

Tony frowned, _"What?..._Paula had my gun, I thought that was you!"

"Nope, that was me"

Both of them looked up to see Gibbs approaching the bullpen opposite them, placing his gun down on his desk and running his eyes over the both of them,

"You okay David?" he asked as Ziva nodded, still sitting with Tony's arm wrapped around her shoulders, the glare of the red emergency lights staining her hair and skin,

"Her shot went wide, I do not know where it hit"

Gibbs shrugged, "As long as I don't have to train a new team member I don't care"

"We love you too boss" Tony responded automatically as the security guards finally stormed the office floor. As their leader went over to debrief them, Tony quickly pulled Ziva into an awkward embrace, burying his face into her hair and kissing it gently,

"Guess what I'm remembering right now" he whispered, causing her to roll her eyes,

"The undercover mission?" she suggested sweetly, causing him to chuckle,

"Nope, the speed-dating op, when we put glasses on you and made you flirt with those men"

She shuddered, "Now that was torture"

She pulled back to look into his eyes, "Are your memories returning Ahuv?"

He grinned and caressed her cheek with his hand, "Or else I'm dreaming"

Leaning forward he pressed his lips to hers in a chaste kiss, remembering all the times he had craved the touch of those sweet rose petals.

Sweet and forbidden.

That was why he wasn't too shocked when Ziva pushed him away.

* * *

* I'm sorry  
* I live


	10. Chapter 10

A/N- I still own nothing but is handing out awards and Tony and Ziva are in the running for best crime fighting duo so everyone head there and vote and tell all your friends and post the information on all your stories.  
Also let me know what you think about this chapter- I'm not too sure so if we don't like the way this story is going I can delete this and issue a new chapter.

* * *

"Like my rosebuds Jethro?"

Gibbs smirked at the sexual innuendo behind that supposedly innocent question.

"Don't you mean Ziva's rosebuds Jen?" he corrected as he sipped as his coffee, she simply smiled as she continued arranging the flowers in a crystal vase.

"Finally got there before she shoved them down the garbage shoot?" he guessed, to which she chuckled,

"I stopped her just as she was about to open the lid" she pouted, before adding,  
"Such beautiful flowers should not be thrown out on a daily basis"

"I'll tell DiNozzo to stop buying them then"

Gibbs stepped forward and gave the deep red flowers in question, some still blooming, a careless flick. There were a good twenty stems in the bouquet and they were the thirty-first bunch Tony had sent to Ziva this month.

That Gibbs knew of.

The day after DiNozzo had recovered his memories, he had ambushed Gibbs basement with a list entitled 'Why Ziva and I should be allowed to date' at number thirty-two Gibbs had been forced to concede his permission. Partly due to the fact that he'd been granting them leeway for years and partly because it was clear DiNozzo had pulled an all-nighter and looked ready to drop from exhaustion. When he had sat the younger man down and got some coffee into him, he had asked him why he had suddenly changed his tune. Tony had explained that the knock to the head must have set something right in him, he loved Ziva and they'd wasted enough years being afraid.

So Gibbs had consented, Jenny had agreed to turn a blind eye, McGee and Abby were in full support and at the moment Eli David didn't particularly care either way.

The only protestor against the relationship was Ziva herself.

Nobody was quite sure whether it was commitment issues or another reason entirely but the bullpen now doubled as a battlefield between her and DiNozzo. The flowers were just his latest weapon against her. It had started with their favourite DVD's and champagne, but once Ziva had caught on to his intentions he'd been banned from her apartment. Heart shaped boxes of chocolates hadn't worked either; Ziva had just re-gifted them to the women in the office or refused flat out to eat them.

So at the beginning of February, Ziva had come into work to find a large bouquet of roses sitting on her desk. She'd thrown them in the bin and found another bouquet there by lunchtime. Threatening McGee with death by office stationery she'd managed to get the majority of florists within a five-mile range on the no-entry list at the Navy Yard, but Tony had obviously found florists that were allowed through because everyday fresh red roses appeared on her desk and the FBI and CIA were threatening Ziva with restraining orders if she forwarded any more bouquets to them.

Her mood wasn't helped by the fact that absolutely no-one was willing to help her in her battle against Tony.

* * *

"Ziva come on, I really need to pee!"

Ziva ignored Abby as her whining filtered through the locked door of the women's bathroom. The Goth was lying, she was sure of it; otherwise she would be at one of the other five bathrooms in the office complex.

Her suspicions were confirmed when she heard Abby shift something in her arms and then gasp,

"Dammit, I seriously don't know why Tony doesn't have these de-thorned!"

A bittersweet smile crept over Ziva's face, she knew the reason and she could have explained it to Abby. The thorns on the red roses were a symbol of the relationship between Anthony DiNozzo NCIS and Ziva David Mossad. Beautiful yes, but not without the risk of danger and pain.

She had understood this the first time the roses had arrived.

She understood that Tony was aware of the risks, of the dangers, of the suffering that would be caused by them finally surrendering to the love between them, but that he thought the rewards would outweigh them all.

Problem was- she did not.

Any day now she could be recalled to Israel and then what? A long-distance relationship, those rarely worked and Tony could hardly come with her. His life was in Washington, he spoke almost no Hebrew and Gibbs would never forgive her for taking his son from him.

They worked one of the most dangerous jobs known to their respective societies, and Tony was living proof that they were not above the risk. What happened if one of them were to d-...

No, Ziva took a deep breath and shook her head. No, she would not think of that, she did not want to imagine a world without Tony in it. Nor could she imagine her pain being lessened or increased by having carnal knowledge of the man she already desperately loved.

To her, saying she loved Anthony DiNozzo was the same as saying 'the sky is blue' or 'the ocean is wet', it was not so much a revelation or a sentiment as it was her stating a fact.

She loved Tony with every inch of her being and he returned that love.

* * *

Her train of thought was violently interrupted by the sound of a fist pounding against the bathroom door.

"Open up David" a disgruntled voice demanded and realising it was her fearless leader, she threw herself across the tiled floor and flung the door open,

"Gibbs I am sorry, I was just..."

Her apology died in her throat as she saw the man standing next to Gibbs, his eyes staring at her with an intensity and a passion which frightened her, she glared at her boss for his betrayal,

"Gibbs" she whispered, hurt and defeated when he simply shrugged,

"You made it my problem when you chose to hide in the head rather than do paperwork David," he glanced at Tony, "This is my way of solving it"

With that the former Marine sniper turned and left as Tony pushing his way into the bathroom, forcing Ziva to back up or end up with her face pressed into his chest. She felt like crying as he trapped her against the tiled wall and wrapped his arms around her back so that she could not escape.

Without a word he bent his head and caught her mouth to his in a passionate kiss which revealed the emotions he had been suppressing for weeks now. She moaned in protest though she didn't have the will to deny her own desires and push him away. When he broke for air he kissed away the tears running down her cheeks.

"I love you" he breathed in her ear and she swallowed before turning her face from him,

"If you love me then why do you insist on causing me so much pain?" she asked wearily, her hands clutching the front of his shirt and shaking him gently, he laughed softly,

"Because I know the end result will be a greater joy" he absently kissed her temple and rubbed his hands up and down her back, seeming content to stand there for a few moments with her in his arms, his chin resting on her head.

"Should I ring your father to ask for his permission, or should I buy an airline ticket do you think?"

* * *

It was very rarely that Ziva felt her knees go weak, usually it was when she was ill or wounded, so it was unexpected and she was certain that if Tony had not been holding her she would have hit the bathroom floor. She gave herself a few seconds for the world to stop spinning before she leaned back into the wall, creating as much space between Tony and herself before head slapping him.

"Are you insane?" she demanded, wondering what was causing him to act so foolishly,

"He might not care if we are dating, but if you ask my father for my hand in marriage all he will give you is a bullet to the head!"

Tony shrugged, "Then I won't ask him, but I figured he'd want to walk you down the aisle on our wedd-..." he broke off when she twisted quickly enough to break his hold on her and stride across the bathroom. Putting as much distance between them as possible before turning back to him,

"No Tony, he won't walk me down the aisle on our wedding day, because there won't be a wedding day, because we won't be getting married!" she nearly shrieked the last part of the sentence, her voice rising and becoming shrill in the hopes that her words would penetrate his thick, thick skull, reach his brain and make him see sense.

Unfortunately it did not work. He put his hands on his hips and frowned as she met his stare,

"I _won't_ have our children be illegitimate Ziva. I know its old fashioned but if we're able to be married, we both _believe_ in marriage, then why should our children be born out of wedlock?"

On one level she understood that his argument made sense. She had never really pictured herself as the marrying type, though she had known one day that it was likely she would marry. If not by her father's orders then out of love and respect for her partner, if it was what he wished.

But on another level things were moving way too fast for her to make sense of them. Just a few months ago she and Tony were so blissfully happy, they had everything they needed- if not everything they wanted- and were in no danger of being transferred or suffering Gibbs wrath for breaking one of his rules. And now, Tony wanted them to risk everything, _everything_ just so they could have a small window of happiness.

"You have lost your mind!" she decided, flinging her hands up into the air in exasperation,

"Obviously the amnesia and then Paula has given you a nervous breakup"

"Breakdown Ahuv, it's called a nervous breakdown and I'm not having one"

There was an edge of frustration to his voice as he spoke and Ziva felt the same emotion, she wanted to scream, to rage, to hurl something at the mirror and shatter the glass into millions of tiny pieces so that she could no longer see her reflection.

And the hurtful hope that sparkled in her eyes.

* * *

Turning away to face the wall, she started when Tony came up behind her and laid his hands on her shoulders, "I love you Ziva" he whispered gently, "I have almost since the day I met you and for some ridiculous reason unknown to man, you love me back. And this _thing_ we've had for the last few years has been one of the few good relationships in my sucky life and I wish it could always be enough for me but it's not. One day I'm gonna wake up and get sick of seeing the wrong woman beside me or I'll no longer be able to see another guy kiss you and resist the urge to sucker-punch him. And what if one day we both want to be parents? We've managed to have physical relationships in the past without too much guilt, but if _children_ are brought into the picture...it wouldn't be fair on anyone, I want to love any children I have with all my heart- and I could only do that if they were yours"

When he finished speaking, the bathroom was filled only with the sound of their breathing. Ziva allowed the partial silence to calm her, to help clear her mind before she turned around and looked up at her partner.

"We have both dreamt about this, yes?" she mused quietly, knowing the answer even before he nodded, she lifted her shoulders in a quick shrug,

"Then...I suppose, any dream worth having is a dream worth fighting for"

* * *

When they emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later, Gibbs could see that Ziva was still wiping the corners of her eyes and Tony had both a stunned look of disbelief and a small smile on his face.

The old fashioned engagement ring sat inconspicuously on Ziva's finger, looking absolutely lovely.

Gibbs was glad he'd managed to convince Tony not to buy the latest fashion in engagement rings at the jewellery shop that morning. Nobody who wore a diamond big enough to deflect bullets ever had a happy marriage.

And he would know.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N- Finally finished, as opposed to my other story this one has a typical happy TIVA ending. And why is it whenever there are italics in your story that when you click save it fucks everything up!

* * *

Three years later-

_My dearest daughter,_

_I must confess that when I received your letter three days prior, my first reaction was one of shock; I thought you were merely trying to play a joke on your poor old father. However, after my sources assured me that you do indeed appear to be serious about this union, I must confess that I was stunned beyond belief._  
_Perhaps you have been away from Israel for too long and have become accustomed to the different manners of living in Europe and America, if so, then I shan't be angry with you, concerned for your foolishness yes, but not angry. In fact I have already spoken to Director Sheppard about terminating the Mossad Liaison position with NCIS immediately and recalling you home within the week. Her obvious reluctance to acquiesce to my request shows clearly how you have striven to earn my approval within your work life and I feel compelled to confirm that you have rarely failed me in this aspect. However your personal life leaves much to be desired. Admittedly at first I saw no harm in your relationship with Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, assuming that it was a strategic move on your part to ingratiate yourself further within the NCIS MCRT, if this is the case then I must order you from proceeding any further. Marriage to this American Agent is simply an unnecessary step that will, in future, cause more harm than advantage to Mossad and our David reputation..._

There was another two pages to the letter but Ziva always found herself unable to read on. She could easily guess at the rest of the contents anyway. Disbelief followed by orders, followed by veiled threats.

She wondered whether Eli David had penned this missive himself or had simply dictated to his secretary, she guessed the former, otherwise the news would likely be all over Israel by now, something her father is not likely to risk giving his opinion on the matter.

Taking a deep breath, she folded the letter in half and pushed it back on the vanity table until it hit the large mirror and was lost amongst the various assorted bottles, jars and containers.

"Mademoiselle, raise your head s'il vous plait"

The hairdresser's soft voice brought her back to the moment and she obeyed the request, smiling as the woman's soft fingers ran through her barely subdued curls and snapped the second antique hair clip into place. The two pieces had belonged to Mrs Mallard and fulfilled part of Abby's requirement for her outfit on that day.

Her wedding day.

Allowed to stand up now, Ziva heard Abby in the next room chattering away to Jenny. Smiling nervously and checking herself in the large mirror one last time. Ziva crossed the bedroom floor and slipped quietly into the living room, biting her lip nervously.

Abby was standing with her back to her but when Jenny gasped she spun around and yelped with happiness.

"Oh my gosh! Ziva..." she stomped her foot and waved her bouquet around dangerously,

"You are so beautiful!"

Ziva smiled thankfully as she moved to the window to gaze down onto the lower rooftop courtyard where the ceremony would take place. She was adorned in an a-line princess wedding dress of satin with lace over the top and an inverted V neckline with a pearl trimmed piece of lace to cover any hint of cleavage for modesty. Under her bust was a champagne coloured ribbon with an antique broach fastened and keeping it in place. The gown had been made for her by a dress maker they'd met when they had rescued her son from a drug cartel in Anacostia. The satin she had already but the lace- Tony had taken three days off eight months prior and disappeared. Gibbs had been furious with the unregistered leave and the rest of the team had been concerned that he was in danger. Until the dressmaker had rung Tim- Tony's best man, to ask if he had returned from Italy yet.

A week before, Ziva had mentioned to Abby that the dressmaker had decided to add lace to the dress, and Tony had overheard, so he had got the measurements from the elderly woman and then flown to Venice to buy yards of the famous handmade material that could only be bought in that ancient city.

Every woman at NCIS had sighed over that romantic gesture.

Ziva, Abby and Gloria the dressmaker had still refused to let him see the gown before the big day.

It was bad luck after all, and they would need all the luck they could get.

* * *

Scanning the growing crowd, seeing most of NCIS, half the Navy Yard, a large portion of the FBI and even a few Baltimore PD, CIA, DOD and Secret Service Agents milling amongst the white chairs with the pink hyacinths and the cobblestoned courtyard, she looked in vain for the familiar crown of grey hair that would signify that her father had changed his mind at the last minute and decided to attend the wedding of his only surviving child.

Not even her Aunt Nettie or Uncle Saul had come, though she had sent them plane tickets and booked them rooms at the hotel, both followed her father's lead and sent the invitations back unopened.

A knock at the hotel room door startled her from her reverie before the tears had a chance to escape her eyes. In her emerald green bridesmaid dress, Jenny spun on her heels and opened it to see McGee and Palmer shuffling into the room.

"Uh hey" McGee greeted nervously, pulling at his suit as his eyes swept the room, smiling at each of the women in turn.  
"Wow Ziva you look great but uh...don't hurt me okay"

Ziva raised her eyebrows at the weird comment but before she could be worried, McGee pulled a pair of handcuffs from his jacket.

"Apparently its tradition at Baltimore PD for the bride to be handcuffed in case she realises her mistake at the last minute and tries to bolt"

Jenny and Abby had to clutch each other to stay upright they were laughing so hard and even Palmer was smirking as Ziva came forward,

"You are not serious McGee?" she asked, running her eyes over her friends face as he sighed,

"I'm afraid so, but for what it's worth; Gibbs allowed Fornell to bring a gun and has ordered him to shoot Tony if he makes a run for it"

Even Ziva chuckled at that, though she knew that the chances of Tony getting wet feet were slim.

Over the last three years their relationship had gone from strength to strength. They'd found themselves a three bedroom house to call home- admittedly only a ten minute walk from Gibbs but it had been the best house by far. They'd managed to finagle a permanent position as NCIS- Mossad Liaison Officer by going around Director David and getting the board of Directors to voice their approval. Tony had taken some crash courses in Hebrew and Ziva had familiarised him with Judaism for when they had children. She had met his large circle of friends and all of them approved of her, if not of Tony ending his bachelorhood. Their love for one another had grown even stronger but brought with it a sense of independence for the both of them. They no longer manipulated their schedules to spend every waking minute with each other. Tony had begun coaching basketball at a youth centre and Ziva had worked on developing friendships with women outside of the world of intelligence and armies.

One of these friends, a female rabbi named Lynn, her third bridesmaid came into the room and nearly collided with Palmer as he darted out, "Sorry" she called absently,

"Ziva time to go, your father is downstairs"

* * *

Lynn had not yet met or been introduced to Gibbs- he had refused to come to the wedding practises, claiming that after four marriages he knew how they worked. So it made sense that she would assume the man that would lead her down the aisle and give her away to be her father. Ignoring the pain in her heart she spun on her heel to pick up the bouquet of white roses which she had seen Palmer tampering with while McGee had been distracting her with the handcuffs, which Abby now held. He had added a pink rose to the middle of the white bouquet and Ziva saw a silver chain tied around the stem with a note attached, curiously, she fished it out and held it up to read,

_'To the woman who makes all others pale in comparison. I love you Ziva- T'_

"Dammit" Ziva cursed as tears sprung to her eyes, quickly shoving the bouquet into Abby's arms and racing back into the dressing room to duck before the mirror and make sure that her overwhelming love for her soon to be husband wasn't going to make the mascara run down her face. In the next room she could hear Abby, Jenny and Lynn's loud sighs at Tony's romantic gesture,

"He is so sweet" Abby announced and Ziva emerged laughing from the dressing room and hurried to the door, grabbing her bouquet as she passed.

"Are you jealous?" she teased as she stepped out into the hall and made her way down to the elevator that would lead her to the courtyard floor, her bridesmaids hurried after her,

"Totally" Abby joked, "And we've been over this Ziva, I go first"

Abby bounded forward and slid into the miniscule space between Ziva and the elevator, pressing the button and shooting her friend a playful look of triumph before the doors opened to reveal an exceptionally well dressed man.

Eli David.

"Papa?" Ziva blurted, the bouquet nearly falling from her hands in shock as her father reached out to gently shift a stunned Abby from his path, enabling him to step out of the elevator.

"Shalom daughter" he greeted, "I trust you are well?"

Ziva found herself without the power of speech as she stared in shock at her father, the man whom she was so sure had disowned her following her engagement to Anthony DiNozzo, the man whom until a minute ago she was sure was boycotting her wedding. He gave each of her bridesmaids a pointed look and out of sheer habit Ziva read his expression and responded,

"Ah...I will meet you all downstairs" she told them, stepping back from the elevator and giving them a quick smile as she ushered Abby and Lynn into the elevator,

"Are you sure?" Jenny asked, using her status as NCIS Director to blatantly insult Eli,

"She will be downstairs a mere five minutes after you" Eli snapped, all but pushing the red head into the elevator and reaching in to press the button that closed the doors. Ziva just had time to see Abby's shell-shocked face before the doors closed and wondered how fast her bridesmaid would be pulling out the mobile she had clipped to her garter belt and sending out S.O.S messages to the team. She looked to her father who held his arm out to her, tentatively she took it and they began to walk back down the hallway towards the emergency exit,

"The stairs I think" he spoke quietly, "They shall give us more time to talk"

He held the door open for her and she slipped into the stairwell, taking care to lift the hem of her dress in case the concrete was dirty and walking a few steps ahead of her father, not trusting herself to look into his eyes.

"I did not expect to see you today papa" she began, swallowing nervously as she heard him only a hair's breadth behind,

"I did not expect to see you today either" he announced, "It was only yesterday that I found myself packing and borrowing the Prime Ministerial Jet to fly here"

It told Ziva of how much of her was still attached to Israel that she felt a thrill at the knowledge of how high her family had risen. The Prime Ministers that came and went were themselves hesitant to use the Gulfstream airplane but Eli had been able to borrow it to fly to Washington on personal business.  
In the dim lighting of the stairwell she allowed herself to smile.

"May I ask why the sudden change of mind?" she inquired quietly, stopping to look over her shoulder at her father, he shrugged uncomfortably,

"I have not changed my mind so much as I decided that I did not want to irrevocably damage our relationship by missing your wedding day"

"Ah" Ziva sighed, continuing their path and reaching the landing before her father reached out and touched her shoulder tenderly,

"However...I have done some research into Anthony DiNozzo and I realise that...you could possibly do worse than him"

* * *

A genuine smile lit Ziva's face as her father opened the door and she allowed her dress to fall back to the floor as they exited into the courtyard level to find the bridal party waiting indoors, just out of view of the wedding guests, Gibbs having obviously learnt that his services were no longer needed and gone to take his seat. Abby and Jenny sighed with obvious relief when Ziva appeared safe and sound; she approached them with her hand on her father's arm, biting her lip nervously when Abby held up the handcuffs,

"Okay, I checked with McGee and he has the key on him" she explained as Ziva took her place on the white carpet that would lead her to the aisle,

"Handcuffs?" Eli questioned as one was loosely attached to Ziva's wrist and the other to his,

"Tradition from one of Tony's former positions" she whispered in Hebrew, "It is to prevent the bride from running if she changes her mind"

Eli didn't even bother to mask the hope on his face, "Are you having doubts?"

"No" she told him firmly and his shoulders dropped as the music began,

"At least he's not a Neo-Nazi" he muttered under his breath as two of the hotel staff opened the doors to the courtyard and her bridesmaids waltzed through. The guests stood and Ziva was struggling not to laugh as she was led down the aisle, she heard people murmur of how beautiful she looked and blushed modestly, she looked ahead and saw Tony watching her with a goofy grin on his face, McGee standing beside him with three of Tony's former frat brothers. The rest of the team were sitting in the front row, with Fornell who seemed disappointed that he hadn't had an excuse to shoot Tony. As she passed Mrs Mallard turned to her son and whispered loudly,

"Donald, that woman looks like that floozy transsexual waitress that cousin Bertie ran off with! Do you think it's her?"

"_Mother_" Ducky cried scandalized and most of the wedding party snickered, Tony chuckling as Ziva reached the altar, Eli's hand clenching as he released her with obvious reluctance, McGee came forward with the key but both father and daughter twisted their wrists expertly to cause the cuffs to unlock and drop, Eli caught them in a swift movement and glared at Tony,

"Remember who I am, what I can do and how little I think you deserve my daughter before you make any foolish mistakes" he said to the man before stepping back and taking a seat next to a suddenly nervous Palmer.

Ziva stamped down on her annoyance and looked into Tony's eyes as he took her hand; he winked at her and brought her fingers to his lips, kissing them quickly before they faced the priest.

They said the traditional St Catherine's vows, their own vows having long since been whispered to each other numerous times over since they had first met. Ziva remembered the first time she had promised Tony forever, standing knee deep in weeds searching for clues at a crime scene, she had cupped his cheek in her hand and told him that to the end of the world and back she would never abandon him.

She smiled when McGee handed them the rings and she saw identical inscriptions on the inside of the platinum bands, _'Steadfast faith yet never moved'_

Forget not yet.


End file.
